Throughout various friend groups in my life, I always tended to become the designated “Mom Friend”. Most groups have these: The Mom Friend, as the title suggests, mothers the group as a whole and tends to do very motherly things such as always being prepared and offering advice. I’m not sure how I fell into this role; perhaps my big sister status and bossy tendencies have something to do with it.
Unsurprisingly I’ve always felt my purpose in life was to be a mother, and not just in base level of the role. Whether or not I have many children or no children at all; participating in the role of a mother is something I am very drawn to.
Much like actual motherhood, being the Mom Friend has both negative and positive aspects. Overall, I do believe the pros outweigh the cons, but frankly I’m not sure I could ever stop being the Mom Friend even if I wanted to.
Pro: The amount of respect you command.
Your friends are always coming to you for advice, and value your wisdom towards all matters. They are also less likely to play pranks or make fun of you because they fear your motherly wrath.
Con: Sometimes being walked over.
Friends may start using you as an advice factory and only come to you when they need something. Nobody likes being used. Providing emotional support for your friends is important to you, but you deserve some in return.
Pro: The unconditional love.
They love you like a mother, and those bonds are deep. Don't mess with anyone's mother, and the same goes for the Mom Friend. Your group will defend you until the end.
Con: Moving away for college is significantly sadder.
Especially if you stayed in town and your younger friend is the one moving away. You basically turn into that mother who cries during high school graduation because your baby is growing up.
Pro: The satisfaction you feel towards your friend’s successes.
Jealousy doesn’t exist when you feel you had a part in your friend’s achievements. You never stop feeling proud about every good grade or new job landed by your friends.
Pro and Con: Keeping all the secrets.
Your friends will tell you everything, and it can be stressful to keep all those secrets. Remembering who is in the know and who isn't about a particular topic can take up a lot of energy as well. However, there's nothing more satisfying than being trusted and knowing everything about everyone.
Overall, being the Mom Friend can be hard work, but rewarding and satisfying work. Any Mom Friend or actual mother will tell you that mothering is a full time job. Remember to support and love the mother figures in your life; and the next time you see your group's Mom Friend or your actual mother, thank them for all that they do.
