I don't mean to brag but... I am the oldest, youngest, and middle child of my family. This was verbatim my grade-school response to questions about siblings from classmates. Yes, I was that cool. With many "titles" comes great responsibility. Okay, enough of the cliches, here is the real list of pros and cons of being an only child. We're not just a bunch of spoiled brats, and being an only child isn't just sunshine and rainbows.
PROS
1. You're parents bring you everywhere
Whether it's a dinner at a nice restaurant or a trip to Napa Valley, your parents are able to bring you to more adult places and vacation spots than families with a lot of children. Family vacations tend to vary from Disney World to see Mickey and Nashville to see the Grand Ole Opry. You learn from an early age that if you can be respectful and calm, you are able to expand your palette to foods beyond chicken fingers and french fries. We were the family getting glares from other adults at sophisticated movie theaters for bringing an eight-year-old to see PG-13 films. And if your parents do decide to take a trip to Napa Valley, you become a sort of mini-connoisseur of cheese, since that's the only other food they serve.
2. You know more about family problems/issues
When there are three people in a house, it's hard to keep secrets. You know when your parents are tight on money or when extended family members are sick, in trouble or fighting. Your parents are open about it and you take on bigger role in family decisions. They may even ask for your input about moving or changing schools before final choices are made.
3. Your pets are your siblings
Everyone always says that their pets are members' of the family. But when you are an only child sometimes (often) your parents may refer to your pets as your brothers/sisters. They keep your parents busy when you are at school or out with friends. Your pets most likely have first and middle names while sharing the family last name as well. Those empty circles for drawing sketches of siblings become filled with charming pictures of your two dogs who are the next closest thing.
4. Your parents don't have the routine down quite yet
Your parents only have one go at the whole parenting thing. They don't know how late curfews should be or what rules are necessary to keep the household functional. They haven't perfected the good cop/bad cop scenarios and don't know when it's appropriate for you to date or wear makeup. They haven't been through the teen angst years before, and you're the only one they can help move into college. Sure, they try to buy every prep book for the SAT or send you to school with a lifetime supply of Clorox wipes, but they are figuring it out as they go along. Still, the lack of precedent has let them trust you more, and with no expectations based on older siblings, you can have a bit more freedom than kids with siblings.
5. The attention
Since they only have you, you are their primary focus. They get a chance to talk to you every day after school and your voice does not have to compete with siblings who want to share their lives with them. Your parents don't have to split up your events so they each can see at least one of your games/dances/concerts. They make an effort to be there even if its only a game of pee-wee soccer because they have time.
CONS
6. The attention
On the other side of this endless amount of time and energy, it can also be too much. When you make mistakes or do bad in school, there are no diversions. You can't reference the failings of your brother/sister last week. Sometimes they want to know too much about you and your life. Without other kids, your parents are more aware of the people you hang out with and will perhaps be a bit protective since you are the only one.
7. Loneliness
People always talk about how great it must be to have your own toys/space to play in without sharing it with siblings. However, I feel the opposite. It's impossible to invite friends over every single day or on long family vacations. Having a sense of comradery and a bond with peers is an important part of growing up. Relating to people your age can be hard when most of your time is spent with your parents. Sure, it made me more mature, but we can also lose out on creating games with siblings on long car rides and having someone to talk to when you don't want to talk to your parents.
8. Stereotyping
Growing up, any time someone asked you about siblings and found out that you were an only child, they assume you are rich, spoiled and bratty. My parents decision to only have one child does not mean that I am royalty or that the sun shines out my butt. I've made mistakes and been grounded for them, and I have had jobs pretty much every summer since high school. Sure, I went to private school, but I earned my place to be there. I received scholarships and I worked incredibly hard to be able to go to a great college where I feel happy. My parents want the best for me, but I am far from rich and spoiled in any right. I don't always get what I want for the sake of being the only kid. Things I have gotten have been because of my hard work and my parents have encouraged this over anything else.
9. Legacy
In the case of my family, my last name will die out after my generation. My parents don't have other children who could have children of their own. There's only me. Not that my parents directly pressure me at all, but there is unsaid/unwritten expectation that I might have a child to keep our immediate family going. Families have traditions and stories that have been told and passed down for generations. If I choose to not have kids, then who will pass on the history? This weighs on me to, and sometimes it feels as if there is no choice. Why would I knowingly let this happen? Obviously it will be my decision in the end, but these are facts that I will take into consideration that other people might not even discuss.
Being an only child is something that I wouldn't trade for the world. Despite writing letters to Santa for a baby brother/sister, I couldn't imagine life any other way. Growing up this way has made me more mature, and I have been able to have opportunities that children in other families might not have. However, it does have some serious downsides as well. So whether you are an only child or not, it is important to remember that "the grass is always greener on the other side" is not true. Your parents and family no matter how big or small are the reason you are who are today. Your life is what you make it and entertaining what if scenarios will not change your life. Appreciate the highs and the lows because you can learn a lot about yourself along the way.
