Sometimes, when a high school student goes through a huge transformation, no one notices. No one even bothers to ask, "Oh, You look amazing! How did you do it?" Nope, they just tend to think that you had it all along, acting like they know everything about you. My peers tend to scare me if I'm being honest, which I am. They look at me and I feel as if they can see my flaws and imperfections, which, some of them, you can see. But not the way I see theirs. I see theirs as beauty marks, inspired by nature. Some of the colors I tend to stay away from, but who knows? Maybe their auras are projecting a different color than mine. However, auras rarely lie.
I see things differently. I can feel things people normally don't feel when in a group. I can tell when someone I know or don't know is lying and putting on a fake smile. I can tell, when someone says hello to me, if they actually mean it or not. Sometimes, I have to regulate myself in order to know what my emotions are in the ocean of secrecy and underlying violence between everyone else. I mean, some feuds are subtle, like "you just tore off a band-aid and it only hurt a little," and some aren't where it's the all-out "you kissed my girl!" type and it ends up in fights. Then again, I try to avoid those ones. Then there are ones like me, who have friends from every clique in the school, even entering freshman, and just tend to block out all the unnecessary bigotry between crowds. Sometimes, people join forces against one, and that's when the bullying starts. But I try to be a block between the two classes.
People that are out of high school tend to realize that it was the best, the ones attending think it's the worst and the ones going into it think it's going to be amazing. In fact, sometimes, we have class rivalries to make the underlying hate against classmates disappear. Though I am not excited about starting again, I'm excited to see all my friends again. That's what matters to me in all honesty. Some guys are way too sexist for me and it's rather hateful, and so are the girls who find it necessary to point out my flaws. But, if I just pretend they don't exist, everything stops. All the negative energy flowing through my head, the insults, the talking down. All of it. Because I realized, as I started to learn more and more about myself, that I was different from everyone else. That I had a gift to use and I could use it, for good. High Sschool jitters are exactly that: jitters, nerves, anxious feelings that are all mind games to you! If you can overcome an emotional breakdown, then you can overcome a few negatives to a lot of positives. Because high school isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's just a school, where people go to learn, and in the end? You leave it and have something better to do than waste your time feeling sorry for yourself when, in all honesty, you're an amazing person. You just have to keep moving down the road, and find it in the end.
