The Problem With Modern-Day Weddings

The Problem With Modern-Day Weddings

Times sure have changed.
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If you own a social media profile, you may have noticed a spike in shiny, sparkly engagement rings popping up on your newsfeed. It's engagement season and in a few short months, we'll be transferring over to wedding season. Wedding season has become like a holiday for so many young women in the world today and the most prevalent thing I've noticed is just how much times have changed, especially for weddings. I don't mean to sound negative by any means, because getting married is supposed to be a happy time in a person's life, but if we're being honest, there are some huge differences and not all of them are for the better. So here I've compiled a list of the problems that exists with modern-day weddings.


1. Let the judgement/rumors/comparison drama begin! As much as you may want to think it won't happen to you or that you may be the ultimate top dog, it's simply not reality. From the moment that ring is put on your hand, slowly, but surely, everyone will start giving you their opinions such as "you're too young/haven't been together long enough," and of course there will be gossip about how big/small your engagement ring is and if the proposal was "lazy." (Sidenote: If you were blessed with a public proposal, prepare for the shade to be put on extra thick, because apparently some people believe that you can't possibly just want to share a special moment with your loved ones, you were clearly only looking for attention, right?)


2. Everything is EXTRA SUPER expensive. I'm not even joking when I'm talking about expense and it affects every single aspect of a wedding. The sad part is, the price is only high because people know it's for a special day and that most times all caution on money is thrown to the wind because every girl wants her "dream" wedding. For example, a regular set of sparklers is normally less than $5, but "wedding" sparklers can cost you up to $20 for just small 10 count boxes! Oh, and bridesmaid dresses? Those can cost around $200 EACH for most current styles, but for a normal dress that looks similar and just as nice can be found for $30 to $50. You would think businesses would cut brides some slack, considering their own dresses can run up into the five and six digit prices.


3. Being forced to deal with people you don't know or don't like. Here's the ultimate problem that lies with that whole "as two families become one" thing. With wedding guests lists that can be as large as 250 guests for some non-celebrity weddings, there are going to be people on that list who you wish you didn't have to invite. What if the way your second cousin picks at his bellybutton in public is so humiliating that you can't bear the thought of inviting him to the wedding? Why are there 50 people whose names you've never heard, but your mom insisted on putting them on the guest list? Families are great, but as the guest list gets longer, it becomes less about sharing a happy day with those closest to you and more about hoping these strangers will get you that dining set you wanted off you're registry.


4. It's an emotional rollercoaster from the proposal until the day it's over with. It's so frustrating how one minute, nothing is working out the way you wanted and everyone is being selfish about everything, and then the next minute, your groomsmen gives your groom a pat on the back and expresses his excitement for the wedding and it makes your heart swell to 50 times its size. Normally that emotional rollercoaster is fun, for some people but for brides who have other life stresses such as college or children, it's not a welcome addition. The one plus-side to this is if you conquer it, you'll know you can handle anything!


5. Engagements/Weddings create tension between the brides to be and her circle of single friends. As much as they might try to be happy for her... the thought of their own futures of possibly being single forever can cause some bitterness. If you're the bride, just try to be polite and ease up on the "bragging" about your current relationship status, this will be easier on both of you and the future of your friendship. *Sidenote: If you're friend is being so jealous that they are at the point of downing you or talking bad about you to others, then this person is not a friend you'll want to keep around.

6. We can get so caught up in the "perfection" of it all that the true reason for the celebration is lost. Pinterest and bridal magazines have been known for being the go-to places for wedding "inspiration," but it's also where brides can get so caught up in making everything perfect that the wedding has now just become about the decorations, the food, the fight for that celebrity inspired cake, than it has the actual marriage. I see more and more brides documenting their honeymoons on social media WHILE IT'S HAPPENING and checking "like" counts. If that's the case, you're definitely going about it all wrong. Get off the phone and just be in the moment already. If not, you're relationship could be off on a bad note before it even really starts.

So now that all the problems have been addressed, let me be the first to say that weddings are still great. They can bring people together and create irreplaceable lifelong memories as well as be a beautiful day. If you or someone you know is getting married, try to keep everything as stress-free as possible. Don't worry about making the feature in your favorite bridal magazines or being the envy of all your friends, just be happy and remember that at the end of this crazy, special day, your life will be changed forever. The overall phrase to take away from this entire article is that it's about the marriage, NOT the wedding.

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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My Lake Elsinore Poppy Field Experience

This past weekend I had the chance to visit the super bloom of golden poppies, and they were quite breathtaking.

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Hill after hill, California's golden flower blanketed soft sloped grassy tops that seemed to continue what felt like forever, far into the valley. The hills looked as if they were painted a bright Garibaldi orange, or coated with layers and layers of Cheetos. The sun was out, the sky was blue, and the almost glowing-orange flowers swayed back and forth in the breeze. I felt like I was in a story book or a scene from the Sound of Music. The rare infamous poppy field explosion was right in front of my eyes, and it was absolutely breathtaking.

I had gone to see the flower fields because of how much I adore flowers, and have never experienced a whole field or valley of them like this before. I wanted to be able to respectfully walk alongside the flowers, and see their blinding beauty with my very own eyes, which I did. However, MANY people at Walker Canyon, a.k.a social media influencers and Instagram addicts, were quite noticeably there just to have photo shoots and stare at their phones, checking the lighting and if they're amethyst was glimmering in the sunlight.

As wonderful, beautiful, and bright as the poppies were, and as much as I enjoyed feeling their soft silky petals, and sitting and walking beside them, taking a few photos here and there, I was annoyed with how many people were there just to strike a pose for their social media.

This magical and very RARE moment of a poppy bloom should not have people looking down at their phones, and asking their friends which pose looks better. Smell the flowers, open your eyes look up at the sky, and blind yourselves with the beauty of this natural wonder. Go outside, and actually live a little.

Despite the many people who were there just to get the photos for the likes and followers on Instagram, I am so fortunate and grateful to have had the chance to see these golden flowery fields. If you have the chance to go, look into traffic conditions, and bring a hat and lots of water! It sure was warm on that walk, so always a good idea to come prepared. I also noticed some people picking the flowers and putting them in their hair. As pretty and cute as that may look for your photo, don't do that. Please respect all spaces, and let the precious elements of life be.

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