The Problem with Expectations:
Hypothetical arguments with non-existent people that are only in your head create a new level of unhappiness. Expectations often get the best of us. We create expectations of realities based on our own inner goals and agendas. When these don't match or fall short, our expectations are shattered. We have all felt the bitter sting of disappointment when others in our lives don’t live up to our expectations of them.
How do we fix this basic flaw of the human mind? Can we really let go of expectations when we care for the results? I, generally speaking, can't let go of my expectations until I have completely given up on the subject matter. I have to detach myself in order to see things without emotion and without an expectation. But how can we solve this feeling of failure and emptiness when things don't go according to plan?
We let go of our ideals a little and accept things as they are instead.
Deep breath. Yes, we need to let go a little. Letting go however doesn't mean we let people walk all over us. Letting go doesn't mean we let people take advantage, nor does it mean we stop caring. Letting go means we make a conscious choice to either accept others for who they are or we choose not to have them in our lives anymore. We remove the in between behavior of expecting others to contort into what we want them to be.
"The problem is not that people let you down or that you don’t accomplish all that you ought to accomplish. The problem is that you keep wishing for what you think should be instead of accepting what is." http://www.mariannepowers.com
And when it comes to expectations we hold against ourselves, we need to keep the goal in the horizon and worry less about the ups and downs in the path. We tend to be too hard on ourselves and too inflexible when it comes to the direction we need to go. Making mistakes is allowed, learning from our mistakes is required.
“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~Alan Watts
Easier said than done, right? However, it is not impossible. With a little bit of meditation, inner discovery and self-trust we can let go.
I promise you it's possible, even if I am still working on it. I can't really say I am there yet, I find it hard to let go of some of my life expectations, however, I see no point in worrying about what I can't change. Life is too short.
When you focus on releasing the thoughts about how you imagined your life to be, your most loving, truthful self can come forward and guide you, and everything becomes easier to handle.
Jihane
