When my grade school teachers told my class that they needed a few boys to help them with something, the girls and I always knew what this would mean. Some lanky, klutzy kids would be picked to carry a plastic chair to the room across the hall just because they were boys. As a boy with two left feet was called on instead of girls who were bottoms of pyramids in cheerleading, that’s when I knew there was a problem. When I saw star football players who never opened a textbook in their lives pass classes as the female athletes worked hard for honest grades, I knew there was a problem. When I looked at the roster of student workers at my high school and didn’t see a single girl’s name, that’s when I knew there was a problem. Once I saw it in school, I couldn’t stop seeing it everywhere else.
Suddenly tropes were invading my life, and the TV shows I watched every week and the movies I went out to weren’t the same. The damsel in distress stopped being so romantic, and the risque costumes weren’t cool, they were tiring. It was like I was watching the same thing over and over again: boy and edgy girl fall in love, the girl gets into a dire situation and needs the strong boy to save her, but not before he’s brooded long enough to try to tug your heartstrings. It became tacky, like I was being robbed of something that could be so much more worthwhile.
The “you’re not like other girls” line used to be cute, if not a little corny, but now I wonder why other girls are apparently so bad. I don’t want to be romanticized just because I’ll pick up a video game or let out an “unladylike” word. I don’t want someone to like me just because I go outside of their tiny box of expectations. It’s like I don’t have a personality to some people; the only word they want to use to describe me is “different." No matter what we do, it seems to be the wrong choice. We can’t dress how we want, or else we’re “asking for it” if something happens to us, or we’re prude if we cover up. We can’t like popular things or else we’re mainstream or basic, but we can’t like lesser known entertainment because we’re trying too hard to be hipster. Everything we like or say has to be perfectly tailored: don’t try too hard, but don’t be careless.
In a way, growing up in a world so insistent on making you feel inferior teaches you a few things. Once other girls see the problem too, we all become connected. The “cat fights” that become a regular part of entertainment are becoming less common than they used to be, in my opinion. We all just became tired: tired of always being the problem, tired of being pitted together, tired of being petty towards girls that didn’t do anything wrong. In a society determined to shame you for anything and everything you do as a woman, we learn something: how to stand up. We didn’t get louder in our protests, people only just started listening.
