Week three at San Diego State University is coming to an end. The Add/Drop deadline has passed and I am officially stuck in my classes for the rest of the semester. I have learned that $21.20 a day for food doesn’t get me as far as I thought it would. My shoes already have holes in them from walking around campus so much. Week three, for me, also marks the end of my honeymoon phase with my roommates. I have lived with them long enough to pick up on their quirks, as I’m sure they have picked up on mine.

Luckily, after the disaster of a first week I had, I’ve been able to fall into a comfortable rhythm I was scared wasn’t going to be possible. I’m sure this rhythm will be upset by next week but in the meantime it is nice to have some consistency. Compromise comes naturally with rhythm and routine - yet I haven’t had to change too drastically. However, that lack of change has its own consequences.

I am, by nature, a caring person. I tend to put others before myself, even when I shouldn’t. It is said that in most friend groups the “mom friend” will emerge. This “mom friend” is the responsible one, who looks out for the rest of the group in the same way a mother duck looks after her ducklings. Before coming to college, I wasn’t the “mom friend,” simply because I was friends with overall responsible people - no one had to step up as the responsible one because we were all “goody two shoes.”

Lately, it’s a whole different story. Despite my initial concerns, I have made friends with several other girls in my hall, including my roommate Genie*. Yet this grouping was made by circumstance - it did not develop over the span of ten plus years like my old friend group did. Consequently, we are all very different people and, as foretold, I find myself being the “mom friend.” This is not to say my new friends are irresponsible; I am just a self-proclaimed “goody two shoe.” I like following the rules, even if it means not having as much fun as my peers are. I constantly worry about upsetting my superiors and making a bad impression. I have been known to be the “teacher’s pet.”

Now, I find myself in an interesting predicament. I have embraced my new role as “mom friend,” yet now I struggle with how far to take my so-called responsibilities without compromising my true self. I am the only one who actually cleans the dorm room - surprising, considering I was a complete slob back home. I have purchased many items for our room, from cleaning supplies to printer ink, unreimbursed - another unexpected move, coming from a penny-pincher. I am faced with the reality that if I don’t do it, nobody will; yet ask myself “why me?” I have to watch myself to make sure I don’t become a pushover, but still maintain my sense of responsibility.

Thus, my advice: don’t compromise your beliefs, yet remain open-minded. Balance is key, but it won’t come without some struggle. With this new environment, change is inevitable - just don’t lose sight of who you were before you came to college.