The Pressure Of Forming A Self-Identity | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

The Pressure Of Forming A Self-Identity

Who are you when your identity has been chosen for you?

178
The Pressure Of Forming A Self-Identity
Groovyman

We have a third year student: pre-med. After med school, she will become a doctor, but not just any doctor, a surgeon. She comes from a family of immigrants from Africa, Asia, and South America, but it doesn’t matter. "There was a sacrifice to come to America," her parents always tell her, and she needs to honor that sacrifice by becoming successful. Her parents have done everything they could to make sure she has the opportunity to be anything, not just anything, to be successful. Successful is understood to be financially stable. It doesn’t mean rich, it just needs to be good money so her children have happy childhoods and they can have even more opportunities than she did. In order to fulfill her parent’s wishes, she must aspire to be a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer. Maybe she can do business, but that’s a little risky.

She is the first born out of three. Immediately, she is the role model figure for her siblings and all of her cousins too. Her parents not only have high hopes, but they love to brag about their future doctor to friends and family. At every family event, she is greeted with even higher hopes and expectations from her family. “How’s school?” They would ask. “I know you’re getting those straight A’s. You are making all of proud.” She hears at least 5 times. She is doing well, it is what she feels, but it is not the straight A’s everyone expects. Sure, she excelled in high school, but high school was easy if you paid attention in class. College was a lot harder. There was so much work, so many social events, and so many boys. She managed to juggle, but still fell below her parents' desired mark. Not to mention, she almost failed a class, but only because she couldn’t understand the concepts no matter how hard she tried. She mentioned this to her mother once, and her mother reminded her she cannot give up because there were so many sacrifices madeto get her to a great, expensive college, even with the scholarships.

For a while back, in high school, she didn’t know what she wanted to do. Her mother had been pushing medicine since she started school, and she did like science growing up, but did she want to do it because of herself or because of her parents? Hospitals made her feel weird; it was a constant battlefield between life and death. She didn’t spend much time in there; the only time she saw a doctor save a life was when her sister was born. She decided she would be interested in law. She loved to argue and she saw on the news how the law is failing citizens. She brought this idea up at a family dinner and immediately the idea was struck down. She would do medicine because that’s all she has wanted to do or maybe that’s because that was all she was told.

Graduation is approaching. Not at the end of the year, but close enough for her to be constantly feeling dread and apprehension. She doesn’t know what she wants to do. Her interests aren’t strong enough for any strong and successful career. She can’t tell her parents because she will be faced with disappointments. She can’t tell her friends, because they don’t understand her parents and culture. She can’t even talk to herself about it, the doubt will consume her. Her friends are excited to be done with school. They can get their own place and really delve into their careers. Their envisioned futures are bright and glorious. Their dreams are motivation to keep pushing and to plan out their future. She doesn’t share the same enthusiasm. The passion is not the same for her; the doubt is always there, and she can’t keep pushing it away.

The time to go forward is now. She doesn’t know where she is going, she is taking one step at a time. Slowly, she begins looking at options. What kind of career does she want? Where does she want to go to school? What kind of mark does she want to leave in the world?

Who is she? But more importantly, who does she want become? The answer is starting to unfold, one day at a time.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

20 Things You Forgot To Thank Your Mom For

Moms are super heroes dressed in yesterday's clothing and they deserve an award for that.

739
family
Facebook

Dear Mom,

You took care of me and my brothers our entire lives and you still continue to! I will not be able to truly grasp all of the hard work that you put into this family until I create my own one day. But, I know that there are plenty of times I forgot to give you a simple thank you or an appreciative smile. I thank you for everything that you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Here are some examples of those times where you had my back and I forgot to pat your back for saving me:

Keep Reading...Show less
pumpkin
Holytaco.com

College is hard. As people ages 18-22, we’re just trying to figure out what we’re doing with our lives, our careers, our eating habits, exercise routines, sleep patterns, and other necessities for adult life. We definitely don’t take proper care of ourselves; it’s basically impossible when we have essays, tests and readings due and somehow we’re supposed to eat right, exercise and sleep. We’re doomed to get sick. I have zero experience in science but when I get sick there are certain things I do to make myself better.

Keep Reading...Show less
Bob's Burgers
Hyannishyball

First of all, there is no shortage of fun when you're together.

And you often find yourselves entertaining each others terrible ideas.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

The Unwritten Rules Of "Talking"

What is "talking?" How does one "talk?"

8908
girl holding phone
NYCPRGIRLS

Now that it seems “talking” is the new way to date, and will stay that way until another idiotic term is used to describe the people who can’t settle down and just date someone, I feel as if it’s time to go over the unwritten rules of “talking.”

Rule 1. Having feeling without feeling.

Keep Reading...Show less
The Stages of Having FOMO in College
iamthatgirl.com

Are you one of those people that gets super upset when you miss out on anything? Well, you may have FOMO, or fear of missing out. In college it’s not hard to experience FOMO every once in a while. You just love doing everything and anything, so hen you have to miss out on something it's the worst possible thing in your mind. Whether you’re sick, have to work, or have so much work to do you could cry – FOMO will hit you hard in college.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments