Babies, Mortgage, Debt, Oh My!
Why is it that I am 22 years old, but I Feel 28? Everyone around me is either having kids, in the process of having kids (Thanks, Valentines Day), or just adopted a dog.
By the way:
If you and your significant other are adopting an animal, that's basically saying "Let's test run our parenting skills." In this case, you could mess up a couple of times. At least the animal you're adopting won't grow up constantly arguing with you, asking you tons of questions and then when the time is right it leaves you in hopes of finding money, while asking you for more money.
Though --
You are taking in a creature that needs to be monitored, fed, washed, clothed (on the holidays), and shown affection. You pour endless amounts of love into this creature, and all it needs to do is love you back. Why does this sound a little more than going studying?
Anyway --
Friends ask me why are you single? And to that question I start to ramble on with various excuses that would seem minor to more than a few.
Answers:
1. Well, I have this pet peeve about movies.
I'm a huge fan of the Sci-Fi genre as well as Thriller/Horror. If I'm going to spend an hour and a half watching a film, I want to get a thrill ride of mystery, excitement, and fear. I would rather not sit in a theater gaucking at the hopeless romantics that is Rom/Com. Or bore myself to death with "he said" "she said" that is Drama. If you want to watch those type of movies, then be my guest but don't expect for me to go with you.
2. I don't really like small talk.
Especially when I'm on a date, and the other person either talks too little; or tries to talk, but talks about the lunch they had with their bestie before they chose to go out with me.
"Let me tell you, that tuna salad was just too salty, and oh my gosh let me tell you about this inside joke between my bestie and I. This joke, of course, you could not possibly ever get, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I'll laugh, you'll pretend to laugh. Trust you'll be uncomfortable for only about four minutes."
3. I'm single because I've tried to put myself out there, only to come back with a little less than what I left with.
Of course, this may be melodramatic like most Rom/Coms (I really despise Rom/Coms) but I've felt the literal deterioration that happens when someone no longer wants you, and it sucks.
This person spent a fair amount of time with you. They've seen your weak moments, they know parts of your childhood know one else could possibly start to understand. You put time, and devotion into creating this image of yourself that you impregnate into the mind of your significant other.
Although, that image is completely subjective and not real; emotionally you feel that connection. All that is gone once the person you once loved, loves you no more. The memory of you and your other half, going to your best friend's wedding. Sharing laughs, toasting to the bright and shiny future. The memory of you and your other half, sitting on the couch sharing a warm blanket watching HBO shows; hogging the popcorn, situating yourself as your other starts to take more of the blanket.
Can you move your feet over to the left? I'm a little cold.
These may either be small to some or grand to all, but regardless these are memories that you both shared. Then after the relationship is done; I'm supposed to forget as though we ever knew each other?
Maybe I'm not one for settling, because I like to watch the movies I like. Possibly because I would rather sit in silence, not feeling as though conversation has to happen. In fact, I believe that some of the most important moments in a relationship happen in the shared silence between the two.
Or --
Maybe you're haunted and I don't want the demon to come after me too.
(Paranormal Activity)
Either way --
I've come to terms with the fact that being in my early twenties is not about trying to find your "other." If by searching and trying to force someone to fill the role is what needs to happen, then I don't want to be in a relationship.
Like most things I've experienced, the best comes when you wait for it to happen. You keep working yourself, making yourself the best better half you could ever hope to be. Then, maybe one day you'll have a half that fits the mold. You both are the best halves you could be creating one, complete, whole.
