Loving an animal is one of the greatest blessings I could ask to be a part of in this life. So much so that I open my heart to just about any animal I see. That's how it was with you when we found you stuck way up in the neighbor's tree all those years ago. You were a scraggly, plain, good for nothing cat - but I loved you. Dad was reluctant to bring another animal into our home, and it was said that we could keep you if you stayed in the barn. In less than a week, he brought you inside and showered you with love and that was it. You were part of the family. No one liked when I named you Diesel, but it stuck, and we've loved you ever since.

I've never had a cat as clumsy as you, and hearing your horse-like gallop as you run down the hallway has always made me laugh. You were one of a kind.

You've been sick for some time, but we just didn't know. That doesn't stop me from thinking that maybe if I'd taken you to the vet sooner that something could have been done. If I'd known that you'd be leaving me so soon, I would have better appreciated the time we had together. I feel like a bad pet parent as I sit here, scrolling through pictures and find that I hardly have any of you. But I know that's not true. I hope you know you were unconditionally loved. I can't forget your sweet face or the sound of your drooly purrs when someone scratched you just right. You made the best biscuits in the world and had a very distinct "hello". It warmed the soul and made me smile. Going home won't be the same anymore because you won't be there to greet me.

Losing you will be hard. As I write this, 200 miles away from home, you are sleeping in your comfy bed on the counter, bathed in soft light in a home full of love. But by the time these words are shared, you will be gone.

I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you move on. That's one of the hardest things about going away for college - your old life keeps going even when you're not around. Sometimes that means leaving behind a few of the things we love the most. The last year has robbed us of - now - three of our sweetest treasures. I never wanted you to go so soon. Losing a pet doesn't get any easier the more it happens. If anything, it gets harder.

I hope you get plenty of drool-worthy chin scratches and make plenty of biscuits in your next life, Diesel. Losing you is hard, but knowing you can't hurt anymore brings me peace. We had ten years together. I lost you too soon, and, to be honest, if we'd had forever together, that would have still been too soon. I know it will get better with time, but right now I love you and already miss you more than I thought possible.