Whether you are forgiving someone else, yourself, or something that has happened to you, it may be challenging. It is normal to feel a pool of emotions bottling up before you are fully ready to start this process. This process can be hurtful, soothing, strange, and relieving all at the same time.
I hear the word ringing in my ears. I hear the word, but I cannot feel it. I hear the word, but I cannot do it. I hear the word, but I do not know what to respond at the moment.
I stare far down the road, searching for it. But, one day, it all just falls into place.
The weight is lifted off your shoulders. The queasiness inside your stomach is gone. The emptiness is full. And the thought is gone.
Far, far away, forgiveness has gone away.
Everyone has different experiences throughout their lifetime. Everyone has different people they need to forgive. Everyone has different reasons they may need to forgive themselves. But within these differences lies the same truth. Forgiveness is tough at times. It can be a challenge.
Big or small, long or short, it can bring different challenges. However, one thing remains—that relief when you forgive.
Teenage years do not prepare us for forgiveness at a young age. Time passes by, we are in high school and times change. People get hurt, you are hurt by people, things happen, life happens.
That word that felt so long down the road is finally at your feet.
Forgive: To give up resentment of or claim to requital.
The definition does not explain the ins and outs to this word. The definition does not tell you about the challenges. The definition does not show you the emotions that come with it.
The definition paints the objective to the word.
Before reaching the ending point, you may cry a lot of tears. You may experience a lot of anger. You may feel like crawling into a ball of sorrow. You may need some time. Trust me, this is OK.
Wipe those tears.
Do something you enjoy to get rid of the anger.
Crawl in that ball of sorrow.
Take all the time you need.
You will feel forgiveness when the time is right for you. Some things hurt more than others, some people hurt you more than others, you may hurt someone more than you think, but hey, you will get there.
Learning to forgive is like figuring out the combination code to your heart and mind. Sometimes, we as human beings cannot forget certain things or certain people. We cannot forget the pain that it once had on our souls. But what we can do is ease our minds by forgiving but never forgetting.
As Gandhi would say, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
Time after time, I found myself waiting for the perfect moment to forgive. Wondering why I couldn't forgive when I wanted to. But when I looked deeper into everything, I realized it was a process.
The long road that leads to one endpoint. And that endpoint is forgiveness.
Please stroll down that road, no matter how long it takes. I promise you will get there.