It felt as though my path was not drawn out but paved for me as a child. I would proceed on with academics until my senior year while being a successful student and playing sports all year round. I would finish my senior year as captain of the Varsity teams, get into the best universities, and have my best friends by my side.

If only this would have been realistic.

Freshman year through senior year of high school had many milestones as well as changes. I was active in clubs and sports in my freshman and sophomore year of high school-- yearbook, volleyball, soccer, foreign languages, making time for my boyfriend and best friends, and working hard on my academics. As junior year came to a full circle, I started to realize that soon I wouldn't get any of this back. I had to start to prepare myself for the college applications and the ACT all while focusing on school, athletics, family, and friends. It seemed as though everything was coming slowly but all at once. I began to lose passion in volleyball but my love for soccer grew. I began to lose my ambition to go out of state for college and stay close but far enough away for college. I began to lose the focus of my future because I wasn't sure if the path that I was on was meant for me.

Planned, but not meant for me.

Junior year seemed as though it took too long to end because I started getting senioritis years back. That's all I had hoped for throughout high school, just to get to my senior year because senior year meant college; college meant freedom. As senior year came at full swing, I swear I wasn't prepared for it. Several college applications, I felt like I had arthritis from all of the essays I had to write. Seven a.m. alarm clocks during the week so I had time to look cute for school and 7 a.m. alarm clocks during the weekend for a big tournament, I swear I was living on 3 hours of sleep every night.

The path that was paved for me changed little by little without me realizing.

Senior year meant no stress or worries, right? I was so wrong. Things only got more stressful and instead of thinking time was on my side, it really wasn't. As an student athlete, it seems as though your life never slows down but you cannot complain because you're doing what you love. I loved volleyball and soccer, but I knew with how much I had on my plate I had to let one go so I could put the majority of my time into my future. I chose soccer to finish my senior year with and I never regret that decision. This is when I noticed my path changing. College and scholarship applications were due soon and I thought I had eternity to finish them. All I remember thinking to myself was, "cannot wait for graduation." Dealing with the girls at school-- cannot wait for graduation. Argument with my parents-- cannot wait for graduation. Pressure from my coaches-- cannot wait for graduation. Physically, mentally, and emotionally drained from all activities in life-- cannot wait for graduation.

At graduation I knew that all the money, stress, time, and patience was worth it.

A month before graduation, our future colleges were chosen. As I had always dreamed, I applied at a handful of places and getting into all of them made my decision that much harder. My heart was always set on a university out of Michigan, but my path changed. I chose SVSU-- a university close, but far enough away from my home. While school wasn't the only thing that changed my path so did my failing relationships and friendships. I started my freshman year with the entire class by my side, I left with a handful of them by my side; quantity over quality, always. I remember sitting in my assigned chair at graduation telling myself that this was worth it. The petty and close minded people, the stress, the endless nights of studying, the breakdowns before the ACT, the rude coaches and their "favorites," the endless struggle of knowing what's best-- it was worth it.

I was once a student who participated in academic activities, athletics, planned to go to a high end university, and I had my life together. Going into my freshman year, I was breathing, I was happy, I had a different and empty path, and I had nothing in my life together.

Somehow...

The light after my darkness was college. College saved me.

Everyone around me seemed to have their stuff figured out while I couldn't even get my microwave to work in my dorm. I was a sad person when I first got to college because I lost what seemed to be like everything at the time; my friends, my boyfriend, my goals. I thought it would take forever to find happiness again but little did I know that my freshman year would help me fall back on track. The first thing people like to ask you when you step foot on campus is, "so what's your major?" and until my sophomore year of college I had no idea. Instead of telling people "undecided" like the advisors gave me, I would say something that might interest me-- Marketing, Accounting, and Special Education were a few of the ones I liked to ramble off because something sounded better than nothing. My high school friendships faded as fast as my tan did the summer before my freshman year of college, but my new found friends made up for it. My freshman year of college played out as well as Season 8 of "Friends"-- impeccable and unforgettable.

Freshman year was my road to self-discovery.

Throughout high school, I had the same routine every day. I would wake up in the morning and get ready for school, go classes from 8 am to 3 pm, attend practices after school, rush home for dinner, catch up on homework and Gossip Girl, and then go to bed. I didn't have time to see what was best for me or what I wanted in my life. I barely knew who I was until freshman year. You spend a lot of your first year getting use to what life is like without your parents always around cooking and cleaning for you. I found out that I hate a lot of foods, I don't know how to iron, I sometimes forget to put water in my Ramen noodles, and I just really miss my mom sometimes. I now know that I cannot work myself up over school because it often leads to anxiety attacks, and sometimes that guy you have been talking to for months just might not be into you. The best drives are the ones to clear your head at night and think. The cafe food just isn't as good as it was when you did your college visit. Boys and alcohol aren't everything, your studies and friends are, but Wine Wednesday never hurt anybody. I found myself freshman year, I found my path, I found my forever friends, I found my purpose in life.

If I would have followed my path that seemed as though it was paved for me, I would be playing a sport at a well-known university on my way to pursue a degree to become a doctor. Instead I am at a small university only an hour away from home, pursuing a degree to become a writer. My path a few months ago was to transfer to Central Michigan University to finish my degree in journalism, but as of now, my mind and heart are in Chicago for an internship. I'm not saying that you can't follow your path that you have had dreams of skipping along since you were little, but I am saying that sometimes it will change and that is OK. I find myself constantly thinking "what am I doing with my life? This isn't what I had planned," and I soon understood that change is a good thing and that is OK. A year ago "me" would have wanted a husband who makes good money, a future house with a wrapped around porch, a Range Rover in my driveway, two children, and the perfect pant suits. Today "me" wants to travel the world, alone because the best company is your own. I don't want all the luxurious and expensive things in life anymore, I just want to be happy and love what I do.

I find peace in knowing that my once paved path with high expectations and one goal has softened into a path with open roads and endless opportunities. Where I have been does not compare to where I am going, I have this world in my fingertips. I fell back in love with my life because of my new found path and I can't thank high school and my freshman year of college enough for that.

"Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I've ever been." -Iain Thomas