To The Parent Who Walked Out, My Door Is Locked Now

To The Parent Who Walked Out, Even If You Came Back, My Door Is Locked Now

I'm Sorry You Left. But I'm Now Not Sorry You're Gone


Dear parent that left:

It has been a long time since we have spoken. It has been a long time since we have seen each other. And I just wanted to take a moment to sit down and write you this letter. This letter is not being written out of anger. It is not being written out of spite. It is not being written with hatred in mind. It is not being written for any other reason than I felt the need to write it. This letter is to you. It is a letter to the parent that walked out. I am sorry you left. But I'm not sorry you're gone.

In your eyes, I could never be perfect. You found a reason to criticize everything I did. Whether it was a foolish choice to spend money I should not have as a kid, to the choice to oversleep and not be able to deliver my papers to the customers that were waiting for them to a dozen or more choices I made foolishly (in your eyes) growing up. But one thing you never seemed to realize is that I was a kid. Kids make mistakes. You just couldn't accept that.

What you didn't realize as I was growing up was that I battled demons in my head. I struggled with things nobody could hear or see. I made decisions not based out of rationality or reasonable decisions. I made choices because I wanted to make them. And rather than explain my mistakes, you found reasons to criticize me, insult me, say negative things about the poor choices (as you saw) I made, and one thing after another, you always made me feel like I was never going to do the right thing or be good enough.

I wish it would have stopped when I was a kid. It was hard enough growing up never being good enough for you. It was hard enough never being able to make the right choices. It was always scary wondering when you'd criticize me again, make some nasty comment about something "stupid" i did, or you'd insult me for some "dumb decision i didn't think about." This didn't stop when I was a kid. It continued into my 20's. And then into my 30's. And then, due to what you called a "stupid decision" you walked out on me.

I'm sorry you left. But I'm now not sorry you're gone.

I don't have someone insulting me when I want to go to a concert. I don't have someone criticizing me when I'm not happy with something in my life. I don't have someone making me feel like I'm worthless and I'm never going to amount to anything if I want to look for another job. I don't have someone stepping up and finding something wrong with everything I'm doing. I don't have someone that is verbally, mentally, emotionally and psychologically abusing me day after day in my life, making me feel like I am completely and totally worthless. You did a great job at making me feel like I wouldn't amount to anything and that I would never measure up to what you thought I should do, or how I should be.

I'm not you. I never was going to be you. I'm never going to be you. I've lived my own life, made my own decisions (most of them stupid according to you), made my own choices, and I've managed to stay alive all these years, have a nice house to live in, drive a nice car, keep the same friends, have a good job (regardless of where I worked), finish not one, not two, not three but four college degrees. And I've managed to raise two great kids. I'm sorry you left. But now I'm not sorry you're gone.

I've heard about all of the things you've said about me through the years. I would like to come back with some nasty comments myself. But I won't. Because that would make me act like someone I don't want to act like. You.

I have worked my entire life to not be like you. I have promised myself I would not degrade my kids, make them choose religion, make them do things they didn't want to do, psychologically, emotionally or verbally abuse them, and I would not make them feel like they are worthless. I tell them every single day how much I love them. I don't ever remember you telling me that. Imagine having a father that never tells his kid that he loves him? I don't remember that. Not one time. Not ever. I tell my kids that every day.

But this won't become a pissing match. I'm not going to lower myself to your level. I don't have to. You don't know anything about me. Because you walked on me. Do you remember that?

It's been a long nine years. And I keep counting. I'd often wondered "if" I'd cross you on the street, or if I'd encounter you in a mall, or possibly see you at a family funeral. I did see you one time. It's been about five years. Do you remember? We sat at an umpires meeting for a tournament we were going to work. Across the table from each other. You couldn't even look at me. You didn't even acknowledge me. You didn't say hello to me. My best friend and umpire partner was shocked. But afterward, he said he realized I'd never lied. And he told me that you were a horrible person to not even acknowledge your own kid.

I didn't argue with him. All I told him is that at least I know I'm not like you. I'm not a parent who won't recognize their own kids. I'm not a parent who won't tell their kids that he loves them. And more than anything, I told my friend I'm doing something that you didn't do. I'm staying in my kids' lives.

This letter is for you. It's for the parent that walked out on me. I'm sorry that you left. But I'm now not sorry that you're gone. I don't have someone insulting me, criticizing me, saying mean things about me, making me feel like I'm worthless, and I don't have someone making me feel like I won't amount to anything. I have a good job. I have a nice house. I have a wonderful family. I have some beautiful friends. God keeps giving me good days of life. He stands there through my bad days of life. And unlike you? The people in my life? They never leave.

I am no longer angry at you parent that walked out of my life. I am not mad anymore at you. I do not say mean things about you. I feel sorry for you. You have a child that you do not know anymore. You have grandchildren that won't talk to you because of the way you've treated me. You have a great-granddaughter that you will never see. It was your choice. You walked out on me. I'm sorry that you left. But I'm now not sorry that you are gone.

I hope you are doing what makes you happy. I hope that one day you will look back and realize that I was never perfect. But neither were you. I hope one day that you realize that you made mistakes too. And I hope one day that you look back and regret what you did. You walked out on a child. You turned your back on your flesh and blood. You lied about things that never happened. You made yourself feel like a victim. I feel sorry for you. I am sad for you. But I have no anger, hatred or anything negative to say about you. I wish you the best. And more than anything? I would like you to look back one day and know that you are the parent that walked out.

I am sorry that you left. But I am finally at peace that you are not coming back. And looking back, knowing how long you've mistreated me, verbally, psychologically and emotionally abused me? I'm not sorry that you're gone.


The son that you no longer have.

Popular Right Now

When You Make A Girl An Aunt, You Change Her World In All The Best Ways

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest girl in the world.


My brother and his wife recently blessed our family with the sweetest bundle of joy on planet earth. OK, I may be a little bias but I believe it to be completely true. I have never been baby crazy, but this sweet-cheeked angel is the only exception. I am at an age where I do not want children yet, but being able to love on my nephew like he is my own is so satisfying.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a very protective person.

From making sure the car seat is strapped in properly before every trip, to watching baby boy breathe while he sleeps, you'll never meet someone, besides mommy and daddy of course, who is more concerned with the safety of that little person than me.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her a miniature best friend.

There is something about an aunt that is so fun. An aunt is a person you go to when you think you're in trouble or when you want something mom and dad said you couldn't have. An aunt is someone who takes you to get ice cream and play in the park to cool down after having a temper tantrum. I can't wait to be the one he runs to.

When you make a girl an aunt, she gets to skip on the difficulty of disciplining.

Being an aunt means you get to be fun. Not to say I wouldn't correct my nephew if he were behaving poorly, but for the most part, I get to giggle and play and leave the hard stuff for my brother.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her the best listening ears.

As of right now I only listen to the sweet coos and hungry cries but I am fully prepared to listen to all the problems in his life in the future.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the best advice giver.

By the time my nephew needs advice, hopefully, I will have all of my life lessons perfected into relatable stories.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a number-one fan

Anything you do in life sweet boy, I will be cheering you on. I already know you are going to do great things.

When you make a girl an aunt, she learns what true love is.

The love I have for my nephew is so pure. Its the love that is just there. I don't have to choose to show love every day, I don't have to forgive, I don't have to worry if it is reciprocated, it is just there.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest person in the world.

I cannot wait to watch my precious nephew grow into the amazing person that I know he is going to be.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

My Mom Is My Biggest Weakness In The Best Way Possible

Although my mom is still my parent, she's also a friend.


My parents are everything to me. They raised me to be independent, strong, smart, and hard working. They made sure to keep me in line, to ensure that I would be respectful and responsible. They raised me to be prepared for the world before I graduated high school. For everything they've done, I'm very grateful.

Focusing on my mom more specifically, she is my weakness. By that I mean, I can go to her with anything and I know she's willing to listen, to be open, and she won't impart judgment.

My mom always knows how to calm me down, but she is the one person who can also make me cry harder. I don't mean this in a bad way. It's just that whenever I've had a tough day or my anxiety has been heightened by some ordeal, I know that if I see my mom or if I even call her over the phone, the waterworks come flooding. I don't know what it is about my mom that makes me feel so emotional, so vulnerable. Each time I go to her, it's almost as if I'm a kid again, crawling into her mother's arms, seeking a nurturing soul to tell me that everything will be okay.

Sometimes I even avoid calling my mom when I'm in a rut because I refuse to cry or feel weak. For instance, if I had a problem, I'd avoid talking to her about it. If a week goes by, I'll update her on my problems, and begin crying about it (even though I was already over it beforehand). My mom can bring out anything from me. She laughs when I tell her this because she knows that no matter how old her baby girl gets, she'll always need her mama.

I think as I've gotten older, I've realized how much more my parents mean to me. As a kid, I always felt like they were against me. I felt as if they didn't want me to do anything and didn't want me to grow. As an adult, I realize it's the exact opposite. My parents have always wanted what's best for me, and because I've grown to understand this, I feel so much closer to them.

I feel as though now, although my mom is still my parent, she's also a friend. She's someone I can go to when I feel down, someone I can go to for a good laugh. She's so much better than me in so many ways. She's outgoing, loud, obnoxious, smart, and is always seeing the good in situations. When I talk about my mom to other people, they're always so interested in meeting with her or talking with her. When they finally get the chance to, they're instantly drawn to her character. They're drawn to her laughter. I kid you not, my mom can light up a room in seconds. She is always the life of the party. It sometimes makes me jealous when people find out how amazing my mother is because I swear they'd rather be friends with her than me.

What people don't see is her struggles. They don't see the pain she goes through with her ongoing injury. They don't see that not only does it take a physical toll, but also an emotional toll. She hides it really well because that's what parents are "supposed to do." My mom is the strongest person I know and to see the two contrasts of her is astonishing. To think that someone so full of life can also battle personal struggles, it's hard to see, especially because she's my mom and all I want is the best for her. One part of my mom struggles while the other part of her is so vibrant, so full of life, so sassy.

I don't know how she's put up with all of the hardships in her life. I've never seen someone work so hard and refuse to fail. She refuses to be taken advantage of. I've never seen someone as amazing as my mother. She can do anything.

I think my mom looks down on herself sometimes. I think, like any woman, she sees imperfections. What I don't think she sees, that I wish she would, is the tenacity she has. I want her to see herself the way I do: beautiful, strong, courageous, sassy, outgoing. I could go on and on about how much my mom inspires me and how she's made me appreciate her in more ways than one.

Mom, thank you for all that you do and all that you are. I hope you know how much Rachel, Vanessa and I all love you. I hope you know that no matter what struggles we go through, you are our rock. You hold the fort down and you're always there to make sure we're good, even when you aren't yourself. Thank you for always thinking of us, for believing in us, and for never turning your back. I love you more than you know.

Related Content

Facebook Comments