Most of my waking mind is scattered with so many thoughts and feelings that it's hard not to be overwhelmed. I'm an over-thinker. My thoughts can range from Oh, that looks really good to eat to I'm probably going to die in the next two years. It's a constant turning of the engine and gears and sometimes I'm not even behind the wheel. Our minds function so that at one given time, we focus on one or two things while the rest of the world's details fall away. I think I'm different because at one time I'm probably juggling thousands of racing thoughts that don't have a finish line. They run around in circles while my conscious struggles to catch up. This same pattern happens when I develop a crush on someone. It's a sensation of having a million thoughts crashing into each other and sliding by, most of which don't make any logical sense. I usually have the following 20 thoughts when I embark the path of having a crush.
1. This means nothing. I'll stop liking him in like a few hours, max.
2. It's just a baby crush. It means nothing.
3. But... we would have such a beautiful wedding. AND OUR KIDS. OUR KIDS WOULD BE THE MOST ATTRACTIVE KIDS WITH THE COMBINATION OF OUR GENES.
4. He doesn't like me. I mean that's impossible.
5. He just sees me as a friend.
6. He sees me as a little sister/brother. Ewwww, I wouldn't date my sister/brother.
7. Okay, now I'm having thoughts of dating my sister/brother. This is incest and I'm pretty sure that's frowned upon in society.
8. Would my parents approve? Hmm.. probably not.
9. That's probably what makes this so much more appealing.
10. Why does he smell so good all of a sudden?
11. And the way his eyebrow twitches.... It's so adorable.
12. He just told me I was cute! DOES THAT MEAN HE LIKES ME?
13. He probably tells all the girls they're cute.
14. Why am I such a hopeless romantic... I wish I was already married so I didn't have to deal with having a crush.
15. I can't even tell him how I feel because... rejection.
16. Yeah, but they say it's better to give it a chance and have your feelings known than to not say anything at all.
17. HA, are they kidding me? I'd rather not say anything and save myself humiliation.
18. (For Friends): It'll ruin our friendship. Whether or not he feels the same, if we start dating, we'll break up and ruin the friendship we have now. If he doesn't like me back, will our friendship recover?
19. I'm going to be asexual.
20. He's the one.
To everyone that currently has a crush, has had one, or thinks they're about fall for someone: DON'T PANIC. It's a normal course of life that everyone experiences at some point. Crushes can make us feel euphoric and melancholy at the same time. If it's got you down, try not to let it. And if you're obsessing, it's probably normal. We tend to magnify the new and explore the unknown, causing our feelings to become heightened and a little out of control. Just enjoy the crush for what it's worth and ride with little to no expectations of where it'll take you in the early stages.
