To the girl who always gets her heart broken:
Betrayal. It's a word no girl wants to use and something no girl wants to have happen to them. Unfortunately, it seems like every girl experiences a betrayal at some point in her lifetime, if not more. And it sucks. Just as we start to believe that we are surrounded by good people, that's when those people like to surprise us and show their true, hurtful selves. A betrayal can be anything from cheating, lying about actions, withholding information, speaking badly about you to others, verbal abuse, and disrespect. To name a few. Yet all of these things end in a heartbreak.
All betrayals have commonalities such as the betrayer acting on their personal desires and breaking a bond of trust. When a betrayer is in a situation, they are faced with two options: acting on their desires or doing the right thing. And in all betrayals, the choice made is to act on desires. You cannot be to blame for what happened. You cannot keep reconsidering "what could I have done to prevent this from happening?" I need every girl to know that the betrayer's choice is not your fault, and there wasn't anything you could have done to have changed the outcome. As much as that doesn't make the pain of betrayal go away, you need to know that you are not responsible.
A bond of trust is always broken in a betrayal. You think your friend, business partner, parent, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend would never do such a thing. And when a betrayal occurs, it's not only an ultimate shock, but it feels like someone actually stabbed you in the heart with a knife. With that being said, you couldn't have expected it to happen. You gave that person your whole self and you thought they were doing the same. You worked to build what you thought was a strong friendship/ relationship. Do not let yourself feel like an idiot for being blindsided by the betrayer's actions. You couldn't have known. You thought they were being a good and honest friend or a faithful and truthful partner.
And then the psychological conflict begins... Will I trust again? Can me and (insert name) ever get past this? What if something like this happens again? Personally, I don't know a definitive answer to any of those questions. I don't know is if you and whoever can get past a betrayal. It's hard to build trust up after it's been shattered to pieces; it takes a very strong, mentally tough person to do that. I don't know if something like this will happen again. I hope not, but unfortunately, in my 20-year life, I have been betrayed by my best friends and stupid boys four times. I don't know if you will trust again that's a very individualized question, but you should.
I like to believe that everyone is a wholesome, kind, thoughtful person, but I have found that to be wrong many a times. The important thing is to not let the pain of previous betrayals make you fear new relationships. Give each and every person your full trust until they prove to you they shouldn't. You may think that you're putting yourself up for more pain and heartbreak, but wouldn't you rather give yourself the opportunity of something new than have a betrayer's actions control you?
