Everyone takes on a given identity in a friend group. Whether you are the quiet and hard working student, the party-driven bar-hopper, or the one who everyone goes to for advice because you’re so level-headed, college is refreshing because every friend group is made up of a diverse mix of people and personalities. Each group has a mix of personalities that complement and, occasionally, conflict with each other. However, what happens in a friend group where one personality type is much more pervasive and dominant than the others?

At a school like Michigan, it is likely that each different person is going to be characterized, regardless of personal tendencies, as being incredibly intelligent. They are going to be opinionated and have methods of expressing themselves that assist that intelligence. Accordingly, it is pretty easy to end up with a group of people who all share the characteristics of being outspoken, forceful, and opinionated. While I find it incredibly refreshing and challenging to be surrounded by people who are so intelligent and who make me think and redirect my opinions, it can also be difficult to have dynamics that are both challenging and respectful of one another.

So, the question stands: is it better to be in a group with a diversity of personalities that all complement one another or is it better to occasionally have some discord or tension, but to be surrounded by people who challenge you and help you to grow? For me, it is always worth the conscious effort of having to think about being respectful of one another’s opinions and feelings to be surrounded by people who make me think more deeply about things. I am willing to sacrifice a degree of harmony and comfort in order to be in a group of people who are characterized by intelligence and opinion. So, when it gets stressful to be in a group of “outspoken ones,” I just remember that it’s worth it because they’re helping me form my own opinions and stand up for myself.