At this time last year, I was a freshman. An 18-year-old girl looking to start over and recreate a new life for herself. Little did I know that every move I make would be something to second guess. I remember sitting in my new dorm, all alone thinking about where my classes would be the next day. I was a wanderer, not having any recognition of where I was and if I would be finding my reason why. Parents will sit there and tell you that everyone is in the same boat and yes, they probably are, but we all know it’s easier said than done. It is going to take you a couple days to find out where your classes are without using a map or friendly face. You’re going to feel uncomfortable and drip sweat because you don’t know where you’re going to fit in (but also because outside is just as hot as your dorm room).
At this moment, I’m a newly bread sophomore. Although it was just last semester I was a freshman in search of something familiar, I’m still realizing now that I can’t always go searching for a comfort zone. I am a Journalism major who is still trying to find the guts to talk to someone who is a complete stranger. I am a 19-year-old girl who is still afraid to go out on her own, and do you want to know what else? On the inside, I’m still a freshman. I’m still trying to figure myself out and work to see what makes me happy. I’m working two jobs to pay dues for a place who is still learning to accept me. I’m a person who gives her heart and everything in between to something I cannot find, but that I have to allow to find me.
Until this very day, I’m wondering if certain things I’m doing are totally and completely worth it. Although I am slowly learning to accept myself and the person I’m becoming, I’m also learning that not everybody you want around is going to stick by you through it all. You want to know what though? It’s okay. College is a place where, yes you meet new people, but you’re here to find yourself and the one thing that is going to satisfy your unique craving for the rest of your life.
When I look at all of the freshmen who have just arrived, I think about how just last semester I was one of you. The saddest part is the fact that last year I had a whole three years left, but today, I have shrunk to two. Two more years of searching and working hard for myself. Two more years that are going to fly by so fast because I am finally enjoying being at my own little home away from home. Somewhere that I fit in because I don’t have to fit. No matter what major or age you may be, we all have a niche in this little Rhode Island home of ours. “Happiness is a journey…not a destination” (Ben Sweetland); we cannot search for happiness, but simply create it in a world that makes us smile.
