As I've expressed in other articles I've written, I'm not a fan of "love." The idea of marriage, the fact that you are no longer your own person, the sharing of all of your property -- it's terrifying to me. Valentine's Day is gross and completely fake.

Relationships are weird to me, too! I am nineteen years old and to this day, I do not know how to approach someone I find appealing. Men make me very uncomfortable, so at one point I thought Tinder was the answer. It is not and please if you have never experienced, don't. Someone tried to tell me to just meet people in person, but my social anxiety said, "You can't do that and you know you can't do that."

Dating has always been weird to me. It might have something to do with the fact that I was behind the curve in being interested in boys. Or it could have something to do with me being extremely awkward and uncomfortable around anyone. Maybe it involves my unwillingness to settle. It could have a lot to do with past relationships (all I have to say to that is yikes). But most of all, it has a lot to do with the weird problem I have with expressing emotions.

All of these things combined make it hard to even be interested in a person let alone date them. Not to mention that in every dream or vision I have of myself in the future, I am always accomplishing the great things I want to accomplish by myself. So it is hard to imagine myself with a life partner. That's just another person to take into account when I wanna travel or move or buy something. I don't like te idea of having to consult someone before I do what I want.

My longest relationship was seven months. Needless to say, I never expect much from a relationship nor do I think they'll last long. That's why, in my head at least, guy plus relationship does not always equal love. There is, however, one man that I love more than any man I have met, know or ever will meet. His name is Calvin Hill, but I usually just call him Dad.

I love my dad, OK? He's one of the only men in my life who hasn't treated me wrong in any way. I mean sure he used to spank me, but I also used to be sort of a spoiled brat. He has definitely done more good for me, though. I played softball for about ten years of my life. He taught me about the sport and he practiced with me from elementary school to high school. When I got a little older, we used to spend hours on Saturdays at the batting cage. My dad basically educated me about all the sports I love, with the exception of cheerleading; that was all my mom's doing.

My dad wasn't just the dad that wanted me to excel in sports, but he also wanted me to excel in school. My parents always pushed me to do well in school, with college as the ultimate goal. I very much remember my dad asking at various points within the school year, "When do you get your grades back?" And when he noticed me slacking off he'd always hit me with, "Get your lesson, child!"

Of course, when you're a parent, you sometimes push your kids too far and forget their wants. But my dad never did that. If he ever thought he was too hard on me about something, he would definitely apologize. Sometimes he'll stop by the grocery store and get my favorite juice or ask me if I want some ice cream. He is also the one to take me to most of the concerts I attend and for that, I am forever grateful to him.

Aside from giving me things, my dad provides me with intangibles. I get my sarcasm from him even though he isn't willing to admit that. I like to think I get my sense of strong will from him as well. While he taught me to be strong, he also told me that if I ever needed anything, he'd be there to listen to me. And he has been. He also has been my shoulder to cry on at various points in my life and I appreciate him for that. Most importantly, he gave me love and if it wasn't for my parents, I would be even more skeptical of love than I already am.

Thanks, Dad, for always pushing me, uplifting me, making me laugh and being there for me whenever I need you. I love you, and I always will!