To the one who walked out on me, thank you. I wouldn't be able to sit here and write this today if you were still apart of my life.

We were inseparable. We clicked from the very moment that we first met, and from then on, there was no going back. You were the only person I could spend countless hours with, and yet they would still feel like a few short minutes together. Most times we did nothing at all, and that never got boring. We had a deep enough connection that we could sit in silence and just be content. Prior to meeting you, I never felt like anyone really understood me. Sure, there have been people along the way that I have also gotten along with very well, but no one came close to you and I'm not sure if anyone ever will. . .

But out of nowhere you walked into my life. From that first day together I knew that I would never be the same. I knew you would have some kind of significant impact on my life in some way, but I never planned for us to end up this way in a million years. We were completely opposite people, but somehow that was the best combination ever. We could disagree on almost everything but we didn't care. We almost found a way to always work it out, that is until you gave up on me.

I will be completely honest. I'm not going to pretend to be this strong girl that isn't haunted by the memory of you more times a day than I would like to admit, because that's not the case. I still struggle to this day with the fact that you just up and left me out of nowhere, with no warning and no explanation at all. But I do the best that I possibly can to not regret you or the time that we had together. The laughs and the memories constantly play through my mind, and it takes me back and make me miss you. But then I force myself to think about how low you would make me feel at times. About the many times that we fought for no good reason. The times that you wouldn't hear me out and let me say what I needed to say. You used to drive me crazy but not understand when I just needed a little space.

I should have payed attention to those little red flags.

I should have listened to those who told me you were no good from the beginning. But that's not the kind of person I am. I don't listen to what others say about people, I have to form an opinion for myself. I have to get to know someone personally before I can jump to any conclusions, and although I don't think that is a bad thing, I wish I would have listened to everyone else, just this once. Because they were right about you.

For the longest time I couldn't come to terms with that truth. Throughout our relationship there were countless times that I would defend you and stick up for you. I was so proud to have you apart of my life and I talked you up to everyone that I knew. I was constantly and consistently happy and for the first time, I really felt like I had everything that I needed in my life. But that was a mistake. I started to put you above everyone and everything else. I started to spend too much time with you and put too much of myself into the relationship. Other relationships in my life were falling behind, my grades were in the toilet, and I was not giving 100% at work. Suddenly everything I ever cared about and worked hard for didn't matter that much to me anymore because I was too preoccupied with you. And that's when I realized that I was changing, and you were the one changing me.

I was in too deep. I could never just up and leave you, not like the way you left me. That wasn't my character. It never crossed my mind that you and our relationship was toxic, I thought it would get better, that it was just a phase. But weeks then months passed and things weren't worse, but they weren't better. We were at a standstill when suddenly we crashed. Everything was falling apart before our eyes and yet somehow we didn't care. We knew we had each other and that was enough for both of us, or so you had said.

I'll never forget the moment I knew things were going south. You had been texting me on a morning I was going to my lab class and I could notice the change of tone in you over text message. You were acting differently and when I questioned it, you lied and told me there were no problems. I snapped and got upset telling you I didn't want to talk to you anymore for the day because you were acting this way without any explanation, and that made you mad.

That night I was at a conference about two hours from home and when I put up a Snapchat with the town's filter on it you got curious as to where I was. You texted me to ask where I was or what I was doing, and I wouldn't tell you. You shifted the blame on me and suddenly I was the shady one. By this point I was just getting frustrated and sick of the games. I knew we were going downhill and quickly. We exchanged some words that night but nothing was resolved. You went to bed telling me we'd finish the conversation tomorrow. I won't forget my drive home that night and feeling completely sick to my stomach. I was literally trying to keep myself from throwing up and my heart was hurting. I really didn't know where we went wrong and I was already starting to blame myself.

The next day was a Friday, one of my busiest days of the week, something you knew. You had told me the night before that you would text me. So I woke up to work my first job of the day and waited on the text all morning. There was nothing, and I couldn't wait any longer. I was getting so impatient and making myself get all worked up again, so I texted you first. You took forever to respond, which was never like you. That's when I knew the day before wasn't just one off day for you. Something was really going on.

I can't even finish with detail how the rest of the day went down, but you know, and unfortunately I certainly do too. You didn't even have the decency to call me to talk, you were such a coward hiding behind your hurtful text messages. You couldn't even wait until the weekend to text me all of what you said you had been feeling for a while. You chose to leave me on the other end of text messages crying in the break room at a brand new job I had just started that week.

I don't know that I will ever get over what you did to me. I think about you everyday and I hate myself for it. No one should ever have to go through a fraction of all that you put me through. You turned out to be to everything you said that you weren't and now you're a bridge burned and a lesson learned.

So thank you.

Thanks for raising my standards a hundred times higher. Thanks for allowing me to get to know the kind of boy I will never choose again. Thanks for hurting me. Thanks for tearing me apart so I could be the one to build myself up to come back stronger. But most of all, thanks for getting out of my life.

If it had been up to me you would probably still be here, apart of my life, and dragging me down. I've grown up so much in the last seven months and the me today would never think twice about being with somebody like you. Unfortunately, I was too young and too naive, but now you're my greatest lesson.

Sure I'm still bitter and angry but it's because I am hurt. I really cared for you and you took advantage of me. At this point in my life I can honestly say I forgive you for all the wrong you've done to me. I know you aren't sorry and maybe you never will be. But secretly I hope for the day that you reach out to me to apologize. I wish only the best for you in life and maybe someday our paths will cross again and I'll hear those two words come from your mouth, but just know I'm not holding my breath.