Being the oldest sibling, you are nominated for years of free babysitting, dish washing, and being put on a platform that our parents call being “a role model.” PSA: we did not sign up for this. Perhaps if these unwanted responsibilities were evenly distributed to all of the children, life would be a little more fair. However, we know this isn’t true. To all of the oldest children of the clan out there – I feel your pain. If you're the oldest sibling, these are probably some struggles you have faced since day one.
1. Your parents are nervous about everything you do
We’re talking everything. From the first time you ask to go to the mall on a Friday night, to the first you take the car, and to the first time you stay home alone. After running out of invalid reasons to not let you do it, they demand that you check in every 10 minutes.
2. You are the role model.
“If don’t care if your little brother has set the microwave on fire, you’re still old enough to know that tin foil doesn’t belong in the microwave.” It was an accident, okay Dad? It looked like plastic.
3. The chore list started with you.
As soon as your younger siblings were old enough to hold a dish towel you got excited because you knew you could start pawning off chores on them. Vacuum the living room? Conveniently, the baby just learned how to walk.
4. Your parents were just as clueless about college apps as you were.
My mom hadn’t been in college for over 20 years. When it came time for FAFSA, transcripts, and recommendation letters, I was teaching her.
5. Pictures. Of everything.
And you probably had to show your parents how to use the digital camera. I don’t blame my parents for wanting to document everything, but it gets excessive. They mostly came out blurry, right?
6. Dealing with your siblings going through "the phases."
The boyfriend phase. The rebellion phase. The mischievous phase. Your parents had to deal with your hormonal and cranky self, now you get to join along in the battle of your younger siblings rollercoaster riding through their teenage years. This is karma for every time that you slammed a door or threw a fit over how hard the 9th grade seemed to be.
7. Civil War: Cell phone edition.
You begged and begged for a Razor flip phone in the 6th grade because everyone had one. Your parents bought you a dinky little Motorola because it was “for emergencies only.” Now one by one, younger and younger, you watch your siblings get iPhones for Christmas.
8. Coming home from college to see your younger siblings getting the VIP treatment.
When you go away to school your parents miss you! They have extra time to give your remaining sibling, or siblings, extra attention! But you can’t help at growl at how your sister gets brand new shoes whenever and you always had to wait for Christmas.
9. Free babysitting.
Your parents are delighted to see that the oldest child is mature enough to stay home along with the younger siblings. Did we sign up for this? No. Where is the contract binding me to this free service? I object.
10. Your younger siblings complain they "have it tough."
That bitter teenage years phase? Your younger siblings will dramatically try to fight on how hard their life is… with their new shoes, and empty chore list, and later curfew, and… no. Just wait until college finals, young one.
11. Hand-me-downs.
The clothing war. Nothing can be passed to you because your siblings are younger and your parents aren’t your style. But your sister doesn’t mind if your favorite shirt is a little too big on her. Your brother needs socks for football practice and yours will suffice. Good luck getting anything back.
Regardless of all the annoying rules and routines being the oldest sibling brings, at least you got to sit in the front seat first and you’ll be able to go to the bar first, too.
