We’ve all been at the crossroads, attempting to decipher if salvaging the bits and pieces of the mangled friendship is worth it, or if we should simply walk away. I genuinely feel that ending a friendship has an everlasting sting that lasts longer than even the worst breakups. There’s no easy way to heal from the fact that you are no longer a part of that person’s life, no longer their go-to confidant, their shoulder to cry on, their keeper of secrets and inside jokes. You have to swallow the fact that you are replaced, just as they will be replaced too.
Some days, your mind will not pay any attention to the void within your life, but these will be welcomed by days where everything is left to remind you of the emptiness in your life, missing from this lack of friendship. It can creep into your mind from something as simple as mindlessly swiping through your countless social media apps, and then it will be there dangling right in your face. A caption, a post, a tag, “my ride or die <3” It will be a harsh, cold reminder that you are replaced, their void is filled, you are forgotten.
In those moments, however, it is important for us to remember the importance in accepting those goodbyes and being willing to move forward and find solace in the understanding that that relationship no longer served you. In those times of feeling utterly heartbroken from the ending of that friendship, you have to find the peace from within to understand that you no longer served each other with love and integrity, to comfort one another, to challenge each other to be your best self, and to honor the true meaning of friendship.
It has taken me months upon months to understand what this meant: “friendship.” I have been able to understand, recognize, and challenge myself to truly understand the purpose of friendship, the role in which you play in this dynamic, the importance of creating a space within your friendship to bring out the best in one another. I have also grown to understand how to recognize the toxicity that many friendships harbor. Sometimes, it can be understood in a way that you can help challenge each other to remove it from the friendship and move forward, but other times it is too taxing to do that, leaving a friendship unable to be salvaged.
I have most importantly found the necessity in saying goodbye to friendships. I have been able to understand, appreciate, and accept that developing and nourishing friendships is just as important as saying goodbye, letting go, and moving forward. Ending friendships and closing the doors to those friendships are what allow for new ones to blossom, for yourself to create a better space to love yourself, and accepting that sometimes what others have to offer holds no place within your life. it might be you, it might be them, it might be the combination of the two, but we all need to accept and honor the necessity in being able to see when you no longer can serve each other in the capacity of genuine friendship, move forward, and say goodbye, even if it hurts.
