In the fall of my freshman year, I had my heart broken by my high school boyfriend, I was growing apart from high school friends and had no idea what to do with my life. Slowly I found my place at school, some amazing friends and a major that I fell in love with. Then I met a boy.
It sounds cliche, but he was tall, dark and handsome — not to mention the sweetest and most caring boy I'd ever met. There was something about him that made me want to know more. His attitude was so carefree, and although he didn't have a solid plan for his life, he knew that he would be OK, and he lived on that. We clicked, and there's no other way to put it. Something about us just felt so right. It was perfect, and everything was falling into place. Except for the fact that a few months ago he had bought a one-way ticket to Seattle; he was leaving in a few months. I knew that getting involved with him might only hurt me more in the long run, but I'm not the type to just walk away from a difficult situation. So I dove in headfirst. We would talk every day, and about everything; he came up to see me as often as he could. He was the first person in a long time that called me beautiful, and I know that's not what's important, but he made me feel it too.
One night, it hit me that this boy was soon going to be thousands of miles away and I wouldn't be able to cuddle up with him and watch old Disney movies. We wouldn't be able to go on spontaneous adventures for french fries. All we would have was Skype calls and the uncertainty of where we were headed. I'm usually good at hiding my feelings, but that night I wasn't, and he could tell something was up.
When he finally coaxed it out of me, I just said, "I don't want you to leave because I know that it'll hurt me."
He sighed, and I could tell that this was hurting him too. “Look, I’m not a romantic guy, and I don’t believe in much. But I know this: I’m happy with you, and we met at the worst time, but I’ve never been this happy. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.” He gently placed his arms around me and pulled me in close. “You are so important to me, but the last thing I wanna do is mess with you. So we can stop, if that’s what you want, if that’s what you need. Just say the word and I'll walk away, if that makes me leaving easier. But that is the last thing that I want to do." He had both arms around me and held me so tightly that I thought I might break, but I knew I couldn't because in his arms I am safe. I tried to hold back the tears because I didn’t want him to see me break. He gently kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes, holding back the tears, and that was the moment I realized — I loved him.
