The reflection I saw in the mirror this morning wasn't my own. It wasn't just today either. This has been going on for months now. The change started subtly. I didn't even notice it towards the beginning. In fact, I can't even say for certain when it started. It was like gaining weight -- you can't tell as it's happening, but one day you wake up and realize you're much larger than you once were.
When did it happen? When was the day you looked down and couldn't see your own toes because your gut was sticking out so far?
I remember thinking I was crazy, but now I know for certain I'm not. At least if I was crazy, that would explain this whole thing. People keep telling me I am. They say, "How can it not be you there in that mirror? That doesn't make any sense! Of course it's you." And of course I know that. I know that makes sense.
Towards the beginning I argued with people. I'd go round and round with my friends for hours. I couldn't convince them I was sane and they couldn't convince me I was crazy. That was back when I had friends. Pretty soon people got bored talking to me. It was always the same thing. But what else was I supposed to talk about. What would you talk about if you saw someone else in the mirror this morning when you woke up? Can you blame me? I guess it would be easier if I was crazy.
It started with the blinking. I woke up one morning and I noticed that my blinks didn't quite line up with the mirror image. There seemed to be just a little delay. I shook it off as part of my hangover from the night before. But it was there the next day, and the next day, and the next. I would blink and when my eyes opened, I saw my own eyes still closed in the mirror. It was the first time I'd ever seen the outside of my own eyelids. The novelty wore off quite quickly. I tried drinking more, then I quit drinking all together. Nothing made it go away.
Next came the faces. They weren't scary at first. Just little things. Like a smile that was too lopsided, or frowning eyes that were too sad. They always matched my emotions, just a tad more extreme. I found it incredibly annoying. Now I just wish I could go back. It's so much worse now.
I think he scares me on purpose. He must like to get a rise out of me. He usually does it while I'm washing my face. When I lift my head from the sink, his face is already there waiting for me. I can see him mouthing the word "boo". I cry out and he just laughs. Do you have any idea what it's like to raise your head from the sink and see your own face in the mirror before it even gets there? That's how I know it's not mine. It can't be.
My wife got mad at me for smashing all the mirrors in the house yesterday afternoon. She didn't believe me when I told her I hadn't been drinking. I told her I didn't have a choice. I know he's close to figuring out how to get out. I heard him before I saw him yesterday morning. He was tapping on the glass when I walked in the bathroom.
