The millennial generation is one full of activists whose main goal seems to focus on inclusion. The biggest problem that continually stifles these efforts is the overwhelming fear of being wrong. This fear stems from the concern that the things one may add to a conversation could be politically incorrect. This fear stops a variety of conversations in their tracks, along with a development of new thought that could push collective efforts forward. This is not to say that political correctness is unimportant. Speaking in a way that is politically incorrect can be incredibly harmful and offensive. But this immense fear can stop an individual from entering a conversation altogether. In the act of conversation, if someone says something that is politically incorrect or offensive, it could open up an opportunity for education. Other ways that this political incorrectness could be solved can be as simple as asking a question, or doing additional research. Although asking questions in a respectful way can help to educate you, it is not the other person’s obligation to explain everything to you. Take this upon yourself and look into things that you don’t fully understand. This way the fear of entering a conversation dissipates somewhat. Part of the fear of being wrong relates back to a feeling of being uninformed and not knowledgeable enough on the topic of discussion. This is why research is so important. Silence perpetuates the problems. We don’t like to be proven wrong and a lot of us fear controversy. This way of thinking is so problematic because we are and have been in a controversial time and people need to be heard.
A lot of issues evolve when both sides of the argument are not being listened to. Hearing the opposing side of an argument is so incredibly important. In doing so, you have the opportunity to gain knowledge on the subject matter, allowing for the chance to appear more credible in a later argument. To create a sound, valid stance, you must study and deeply understand the conflicting material. That way, when someone denies your views, you have a deeper understanding of the opposing side. You can try and empathize with people as to why they would feel such a way and how to counter with reasons validating your own views. A lot of times, especially in instances when we encounter people who come across as misogynistic, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc. we tend to want to prove them wrong instantaneously. This is problematic for a number of reasons. As harmful and frustrating as these views may be, we have to take a step back and learn to listen. Every person deserves to be validated in that they are a human being. When it comes to harmful views such as these though, we can reject their statements in a way that can be constructive rather than harshly critical. When we jump to and attack someone for their views without giving them a chance to get their ideas out, we are severing the opportunity for education along with an implementation of newfound awareness.
When individuals attack those who do hold such offensive views, we stifle conversation that could have otherwise been constructive. Mainly in regard to ideas rooted in ignorance. This is partly why many of those in this generation hold their thoughts back, they are fearful of being wrong even if they don't hold harmful views. A good amount of us would like to respond to this statement with “Good, if they’re going to be offensive and hateful, then I don’t want them to speak up!” As much as I’d like to say the same, I just can’t deny the idea that people are unaware of how their words are affecting others. I went to a Black Lives Matter meeting a few weeks ago, there were 2 speakers who came in and did a variety of group exercises. At one point they distinguished a line in the room that each of us had to place ourselves onto in regard to how we felt about racism in Asheville. On the one side, we were to go stand there if we believed that there was no racism in Asheville, the middle was if you believed that there was still some prejudice but a huge amount of progress had been made, on the other side you were to stand if you believed that racism was still a rampant problem in Asheville. Everyone walked to the far side where we were to stand if we believed that racism was still a huge problem. The speaker went on to say that it was clear that the majority of people believed this to be true. But, because of how quickly everyone went to that side, it would be very hard for someone with an opposing viewpoint to stand out and walk to another part of the line.
When this assimilation happens in the form of not speaking out, there is absolutely no way to educate. It creates a false reality that all of those in the conversation are on the same page and aware of everything that could be problematic with a specific way of thinking. Racism is a big problem in Asheville, but for those who did not think so and did not speak up, they are left thinking that it is not. These individuals leave without any explanation as to how they are not seeing the full picture. This is no excuse for offensive speech or behavior, but an individual could be completely ignorant of another individual’s experience and not realize just how harmful their words can be. This realization can help to explain why some people would behave in such a way. The first step to progress is controversy. If we can take these conversations and turn them into an educational experience we can create a path to a more thorough understanding.
It seems as though the only option in these situations is to jump to the reasons why they are wrong or offensive. This is harmful in itself. We have to consider that this offensive language could be rooted in a deep ignorance of others’ life experiences and individual struggles. When those who are offensive are made aware of these struggles and how harmful they have been, they tend to stop speaking in such offensive ways. I believe that most people do want to be good, but that they are misguided in their beliefs and ideas of the world along with those in it. This is not to say though, that there are not people out there who willingly continue to be hateful and offensive. A lot of times these are the kind of people whose beliefs are deeply rooted in problematic morals or a total lack of concern for others. In these cases, you have to determine who is and isn’t worth the effort to converse with. As sad as this is, these conversations could just end up being too damaging for you to engage with, and it isn’t worth the pain of hearing such hateful speech.
You’re sitting in a room full of people, you think you have a solid view on something but as soon as everyone around you starts speaking, you immediately feel like you aren’t knowledgeable enough on the topic to get involved in the conversation. Even though you know how you feel, you don’t think you have enough educational background knowledge surrounding the topic. So you stay silent and quietly listen in. Your ideas are not being spread, your thoughts are not being entertained and you begin to feel as though your views are neither important nor valid. I have a close friend who has said multiple times “I care about the topics you all talk about, but I just don’t feel educated enough to speak up.” This is a problem. We can’t keep on keeping to ourselves. This lack of communication is what leads to a perpetuation of the problems we see in the world because nothing is being done to organize around them. This starts with the sharing of ideas. If you care about something but don’t think you know enough, speaking up is one of the only ways to learn! The other is to do the research yourself and asking questions can also be very helpful. But remember, most of this work falls on your own shoulders. You cannot rely on those who are speaking up on issues that concern them to do all of the educating for you.
Controversy is not always a bad thing. If someone is questioning how you feel and why you think a certain way, it gives you the opportunity to further explore your own personal views and decipher why you truly feel the way you do. This goes back to forming a stronger argument. When someone is questioning your beliefs, in a lot of ways this can be a beneficial experience for both. It gives both you a chance to learn through controversy. If you go through life with everyone telling you that you are always right, you never did or said anything that made anyone upset, you never get the chance to learn, to educate yourself. You are never faced with determining the reasons that fuel the way you feel. The millennial generation is one full of advocacy and positive thinking. We cannot continue to let the fear of controversy silence us. We cannot let this fear halt these positive efforts toward inclusion and a deeper understanding of the experiences of those that are different than us on so many levels. We have to work together and try to understand each other before jumping to conclusions. We can take these interactions as ways of educating ourselves and expanding the ways we think about issues that concern all of us.
