To the military girlfriend that chose an education over marriage
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To the military girlfriend that chose an education over marriage

Why you aren't selfish for putting yourself first

To the military girlfriend that chose an education over marriage

Having a boyfriend in the military is hard- spending months away from each other, talking for less than an hour a day, etc. A common thing in the military world is to get married right away, it's more of a 'social norm' and a way of life. I'm not bashing anyone who did get married at 19, but don't bash me for NOT getting married at 19. I've been called 'selfish' for wanting to get an education before getting married. I've been told that I 'have forever to get a degree, you don't know when the last time you'll see him is so spend as much time with him as possible' or 'just follow him, you can go to school wherever he is. All of these things are easier said than done. Putting myself and my education first isn't selfish. Just because I have the rest of my life to get a degree doesn't mean I want to wait forever to do what I've dreamt of since I was little. My favorite comment: "just follow him and go to school wherever he is!". This may seem like a logical solution but I'm going to school to become a nurse- that's four years of school (or more) that has to be done in the same place. If you're unfamiliar with the military, most people move every 2- 2/12 years. That leaves me between a rock and a hard place- do I stay and finish school or uproot my life and switch to another school where I have the potential of having to start all over again? In my eyes, the logical thing to do is WAIT and finish school. It's easier and make more sense in all aspects.

Another reason is money. At 19 years old, you more than likely have no idea how to budget or make money work. You're used to have help from your parents here and there and probably haven't had to think a lot about money. I realize that everyone is different, but most teenagers my age live similarly to the way I do. Getting married at 19 may sound like a great idea because your spouse will get paid more, and depending on where you decide to live (on base or off), can make an extra $1500 a month for rent, groceries, etc. This sounds like rainbows and daisies until you realize everything else you have to pay for- utilities, car payments, cell phone bills, different types of insurance (excluding health insurance because of TriCare) and anything else you just can't live without (that Coach purse doesn't count as a necessity). On top of these things, you would also have to find a way to pay for your school (tuition, books, meal plans).

I'm not bashing people that get married young to follow their significant other, but before you criticize me for not falling into it, remember that not everyone has the same goals as you. That's what makes us different. I'm not selfish for choosing to wait, and you're not dumb for not waiting. It's just a way of life.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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