As a woman today, I am no stranger to sexism, especially in the media. Lately, more and more people are realizing just how sexist the media is, from Calvin Klein ads to the difference between the questions reporters ask male and female athletes. Sexism is everywhere, and recently I realized that it's especially prevalent in the portrayal of Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez's relationship.
To recap, Justin and Selena started dating around 2010. They were pretty steady for a while, they broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together, broke up... you get the picture. Justin kinda went crazy, and Selena went to rehab for what we later found out was lupus, an autoimmune disease that she's been privately dealing with since 2013. They both released albums; Justin is walking barefoot around Boston while Selena kicked off her Revival tour.
Both stars seem to be doing really well right now. That being said, why aren't they being represented the same way? Justin is being portrayed as the bad boy heartthrob who doesn't give a crap about anything (which people think is OK), while people are acting like Selena is a broken ex-girlfriend who is only relevant because she had some connection with Justin.
In almost every interview that Selena has done, someone has brought up Justin. In almost every article I've read about Selena, she has been referred to as "Justin Bieber's ex," or something along those lines. I have never read anything about just Selena. Yet, I've read articles about Justin that don't mention Selena at all. I've never heard him referred to as "Selena Gomez's ex." Most of the interviews he does focus on his music and his career, not his relationships.
When I Google "Selena Gomez," the first headline that appears is "Selena Gomez Might Pull a Bieber with Her Fan Meet-and-Greets." When I Google "Justin Bieber," I am met with a story titled "Why Justin Bieber Struggles Without Having a 'Proper Home.'"
Justin's Instagram photos hold comments such as "Justin, you're my PURPOSE" and "AMMMOOOOORRRRRRRR." Fans comment things on Selena's posts like "JELENA 5EVER" and "Pls pls pls date justin again pls." Yes, these are actual comments that I've pulled from their accounts.
When she was asked about a video that surfaced of Justin serenading her with "My Girl" before the American Music Awards last year, Selena replied, "Honestly, what I would love to be printed is that I am so beyond done talking about that, and him." Of course, everyone's hearts broke. Why did "everyone's hearts break" when Selena tore up a fan's sign that said "Marry Justin Please" on the opening night of her Revival tour? That's like someone crossing the finish line at a triathlon they trained so hard for to only be met with your mom and your ex while she sobs about how you guys should have ended up together. I would have done the same.
At the same time, Justin posts pictures of he and Selena, and people act like it's the cutest thing ever, even though they are no longer together and Selena has made it clear that she does not want this attention from Justin. Selena's ex haunted her even on one of the biggest nights of her career, and people have the nerve to tell her she's making a mistake by breaking up with Justin.
First of all, we do not know these people personally, so we can't make assumptions about what kind of choice ending their relationship was. Honestly, I'm kind of out of line writing this article since I don't know exactly what happened. All I know is that Selena obviously wants to be known as her own person, independent of Justin, and no one gives a crap. I'm sure that if Justin decided that he did not want this unwanted attention, the Instagram comments and signs would cease immediately, because in our society today, it is expected for men to speak up, but when women do, it's "bitchy."
When Selena was reportedly dating Zedd, everyone freaked out and wondered how Justin felt about all this, because, you know, Justin is Selena's dad and has to approve of everyone she dates. But when Justin posted a picture of himself making out with Hailey Baldwin, everyone commended Justin for doing what a man does and getting right back out there.
When Justin writes songs that are supposedly about Selena, he's celebrated for writing about his feelings and expressing them in a healthy way. When Selena does the same, she's seen as whiny and annoying.
Selena is being portrayed as a whiny, desperate ex-girlfriend whose entire life is/was Justin Bieber and it needs to stop right now. This is not the only instance in which this has happened, but it's the first time that I've been compelled to speak up about it. What is wrong with celebrating a woman's achievements without attaching a man to her name? Why doesn't anyone care that Justin can do whatever he wants while Selena just wants to be left alone and no one is giving her peace?
I am asking you, my beautiful, (hopefully) feminist reader, to please put yourself in Selena's shoes. You dated someone terrible and just when you thought that he was gone for good, he keeps following you in one way or another. All Selena wants is peace and recognition for her achievements by herself. Selena kicked ass this year, and she deserves to be recognized for it. Alone.
I shouldn't have to write an article to get people to treat a woman with respect.
