In our culture, the stereotypical man is thought to be tough, stoic, and aggressive. It is a common idea that men should not show their emotions by crying or talking about their feelings because that is for women and it's a sign of weakness. Instead, they should handle their problems with their fists.
These unrealistic expectations result in men overcompensating and acting more aggressively when they feel they are being disrespected. They don't talk about how it made them feel, they just retaliate. In order to be consistent with the image of a tough man portrayed in the media and television, men will act in the way they see the men portrayed in movies or TV act.
For instance, in several movies, men are portrayed with large muscles and large guns. When some men feel that their masculinity is being challenged and they don't have the muscles to show it, they use what they see in countless movies — guns. School shooters, who are overwhelmingly male, often feel like they are being treated like a social outcast by the men in the school who represent the typical masculine persona. In order to show their masculinity and their own power, they use guns to hurt the people that hurt them.
Additionally, over time the bodies of men seen in the media have changed drastically. Wrestlers in the 1960s were not nearly as muscular as wrestlers today and even had a little bit of fat on them. Even male dolls are now made to be more muscular than they were previously. This shows that masculinity is increasingly being shown as having large muscles, always ready to fight.
Moreover, when women commit violent crimes, it is on every news outlet and magazine. This is because we normalize violent acts committed by men, thinking that it is normal when men act out. When Lorena Bobbitt sexually mutilated her partner, there was a national uproar — however, the thousands of acts of sexual violence done by men doesn't arouse the same level of emotion because we are so desensitized to seeing it and treat it as normal.
To reduce violence committed by men, it is necessary to change the way ideal men are depicted in society. We must raise our sons to show their emotions instead of saying "boys don't cry." Of course, not all men are so aggressive, and I do not mean to say that I hate men. I only want to say that we can reduce violence by changing this idea that men have to be physically and emotionally strong all the time.
