I have to apologize in advance for the cheesy topic that I’m about to approach. Yes, I’m attempting to tackle the biggest cliché of all: love. I know what you’re probably thinking. Most likely something along the lines of, “Great, some 19-year-old is going to try to explain her idea of love to me.” Okay, so maybe that is what I’m trying to do, but I hope that you relate. I think one of my favorite things about the “L” word is that love itself is indefinable. Sure, the dictionary describes it as “a deep feeling of affection” but can one really describe a feeling (especially one so vast)? So here I am, a nineteen-year-old girl, ready to give you what I have seen and learned about the word “love.”

I think my first experience with the word was watching parents. I saw the way that my parents and my friend’s parents acted around each other. The hand holding, the kisses that they snuck in when they thought we weren’t looking, date nights, and the endless amounts of flowers that the dads were always sending the moms; that was love.

My second experience with the “L” word was when I started to develop crushes. Oh man, I thought I had fallen in love with so many boys. I wrote their names in my notebooks and diaries and constantly dreamed of what it’d be like to hold their hand.

My third experience started when I was around the age of 15. I know that sounds like an improbable age to fall in love, and I’d have to agree with you (you’re a smart reader after all). When my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time, I questioned him. “How can you be sure you love me?” He was totally baffled and insulted, like one had to have an explanation for love. When I really did fall in love with him, it didn’t happen like it does in the movies or in the romance novels that I love to read; no, it happened over time, so stealthy that I barely recognized it for what it was. I was in love with the boy, and yes, I was only sixteen by then.

My fourth experience with love was when I found out how much it can suck. I had my first breakup. I cried and sulked and thought that my world was coming to an end. I couldn’t imagine any pain worse than the way I felt. My boyfriend was my everything in life. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s the truth. I assessed my worth based off of him. Each day was centered on the soul purpose of when I’d get to see him. He was my best friend, my love, my light, and my purpose. That was when I learned that I love too deeply.

Around the age of 18, I had my fifth experience with the meaning of love. Since I was young, I had thought of love as something that everyone had and that you could never lose. I saw love a little differently now. It amazed me, how people can supposedly “love” someone and then all of a sudden, they don’t. Love can be like a light switch, something that can be flicked on or off. Something else that baffled me was the way that people measure their love. I didn’t realize that there was a way to measure love or that people can love someone more or less. I thought that there was just love and that’s all that mattered. My ex taught me that love is different to everyone. I think of love as this endless void, stretching infinitely, but he thought of love of a mathematical equation. He put love into his calculator and saw how, when, and who it all could fit into his life. He saw that I loved him differently than he loved me and he couldn’t handle it.

My last experience with love was discovering it in other people and things. I found that there were activities, hobbies, and causes that I loved. I found love in places I didn’t expect. I also found love in my family and friends, even when it was lacking in other places.

So I guess what I’ve really learned about the “L” word is that it comes in many forms and that it’s different for everyone. I believe that if you truly love someone, that it will never stop. Love is something that is infinite; it never dies. Someone is always loving someone else. It doesn’t make sense, but I guess that is why it’s so infinite. If it was a simple mathematical equation, we’d have it figured out, but it’s not, so it can never be finished, never be complete. Love is endless.