As time goes on, people say the grieving process is supposed to get easier, but for me, every day feels even more impossible to accept your absence.
Speaking to you every day became a habit for me, so much that I still accidentally dial your number. When I realize I cannot hear your voice again, I feel like the worst day of my life, the day that I lost you, is happening all over again.
When you lose an influential person in your life, it feels like there is no way to move on. You ask yourself, "When this will get easier?" The truth is that it doesn’t exactly get easier. You only learn to cope.
You filled my life with infinite joy. Every day I spent with you was filled with endless smiles and laughs. When I first lost you, I never thought I could feel happy again since you were always the one exuberating my happiness. Now, I find comfort in the little things we used to do together. From coming across one of your cherished sayings or songs, cooking our favorite meals, doing cartwheels on the front lawn, watching the most entertaining television shows, to me getting horribly beat by you in cards, these simple things remind me of you and, for a, second I start to feel like you aren’t gone at all.
You were such a special person which is why I have such a hard time moving on. Meeting someone like you happens once in a lifetime. I think the hardest part of the grieving process is having to fill the holes. We try to replace the spot our loved one had in our lives. Maybe we owe it to these people to hold these spots since they had such a large impact on us. Maybe we owe it to ourselves to realize that although not physically, we can depend on these people to spiritually be at our sides at all times.
So to the losses that we never get over—thank you. Thank you for supporting us every single day that we spent with each other. Thank you for being our “person," someone who understood us so completely, so entirely. Thank you for the lessons you taught us, to love everyone and everything as much as you did. Thank you for shaping us into the people we are today. Thank you for having an open ear, for keeping our secrets and being our favorite confidant. Thank you for inspiring us every day to do something that we know you would be proud of. Thank you for furthering our faith to believing that we can somehow see you again, some day.
Thank you for being a person that we can never forget, can never replace, and can never get over. We will always love you.
