Mark 12:30: “ Love your neighbor as yourself.”

As a teenage girl, I remember a very distinct moment while reading Mark 12, I got to the part about loving one’s neighbor as oneself and I realized that when the bible was created the idea of deep self-hatred was not evident. For a command to read “Love your neighbor as yourself,” meant that God did not know what love I gave myself.

It was only years later that I came to understand that the command was two-fold, while it held its intended purpose of putting other’s needs in priority among your own, it also took on a new meaning. If you could not say it to the girl next to you, you have no reason to speak it into your own life. The constant mental whispering of “You’re not enough,” “You messed up,” “You look like trash,” and so many other things that had become as commonplace and natural as breathing were not the way that God intended us to speak to ourselves.

Psalm 139:14 says “I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your work are wonderful, I know that full well.” This one goes out especially to the warriors fighting the battle of self-hatred and mental illness, the marathon runners who struggle every day when they have to face themselves in the mirror; the ones who mutter something about hating themselves when they make a mistake.

These pieces that you despise, the face you stare into through the shower fog, the gifts and talents you’re ashamed of were fearfully and wonderfully made. Jeremiah 29:11 brings the discussion to the topic of purpose, the fact that your life has a divine and appointed purpose. Remember that God would not give a purpose to a tool that could not handle the task. You have been lovingly created and crafted to have exactly what you need to be who God has called you to be. Too often we allow self-hate and self-doubt to seep into the core of who you are through the cracks in your confidence. We stare at the people around us and suddenly feel as though we hold nothing to offer in comparison.

Remember, your purpose and creation were determined before the beginning of the world, you have been waited for, wanted, breathed into existence, and designed by a God who believed that you were the perfect one for the task he appointed. God had the ability to create anything and anyone that He chose, He chose you. He knew what your face would look like, he knew the mistakes you would make, He knew your shortcomings, flaws, and struggles and still believed that you were exactly what He wants.

When you hear those quiet criticisms that we whisper to ourselves remember that that is not what the voice of Jesus sounds like. The voice of love pulls in a mix of gentle construction, constructive conviction, and love. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying it to your neighbor, remember that God has never intended us to speak to ourselves any more harshly then we would speak to the people we love. You are worth loving, and that love can start to spring from within your own heart.