There are lessons in college that you didn’t sign up for and you won’t find them on a syllabus. Despite all the warnings from your friends, you must learn about them the hard way that usually leaves crying at 4 in the morning with a tub of ice cream and wondering where everything went wrong. These are the phases every girl must go through when it comes to dating boys.
These phases can be in different orders, lengths of time, ages or even come with varied and contradicting emotions, but almost every girl will check these phases off of her list of dating history as she makes her journey through her college escapade.
The one that starts it all is the “perfect” dream of a boy, He’s the quarterback with the chiseled godlike chest and six-pack, or maybe the nerd with the sparkle smile, simple charm who seems so innocent perhaps even the bad boy you knew to avoid with the bright green eyes and ability to make you feel like a million bucks. This is the boy who in a moment stole your breath, then your attention and without notice showed you the true capacity at which you could despite the male species.
It's the “first love’ phase that’s the sweetest, yet most gut-wrenching, the boy you found that stole your heart and you know from that first kiss he'll have it for the rest of your life (even though you've only been dating for 3 months). But let's be real, everyone knew the rest of your life wasn’t gonna last that long. This phase inevitably leads to your first heartbreak, and although some of these relationships are years long, some only seem like minutes. But in the end, it always leads with you saying, “On to the next!”
He is the boy who is awkward and quirky but worships your blue eyes and smile, or maybe the boy who you would never have considered dating before because he just wasn’t quite “cool” enough and was better as “a friend” but he loves how you can eat that whole pint of ice cream in 15 minutes and Oh yeah, he’s there.
This is known as the rebound phase, this is post-traumatic breakup at its ugliest, where you are just looking for any boy/girl/dog to tell you that you indeed are special. Someone to hold and kiss you, tell you that your pretty, and help you get that confidence back to the good ole days when you “knew” you were the S#$T... The rebound phase can be dangerous because you can get stuck feeling great with the guy who doesn’t give ya the butterflies like he should. Just always remember the phases only get better from here.
Next, there are about 3 phases that are interchangeable. All three are of high importance and build you to be the girl you must become to get to your fairytale ending.
These are the boys who everyone knew about, or no one knew about. The boys you flaunted around at parties or hid in your phone with the contact name listed as a sorority sister you had never even talked to or wanted to for that matter. But each every one of them helped you along to the next.
First, you might have the I don't need a man phase (but secretly you do). This is usually post-breakup with Chad or Brad or someone who treated you like you weren’t the bad bitch that you are. This is your "I’m the best you've ever had" phase, where you act like you could care less about the boys at the parties, but secretly you're texting the boy from Chem 104 who always sends you the answers because he thinks you're cute. This is the phase to help you realize you don't really need a guy, but they are kinda nice to have around you, like the dog you had to leave at home when you came to college. You rarely played with it before you left, but now that it’s not around all you wanna do is take it to the dog park and cuddle with it.
Another option is the Mr. Perfect phase, this, in my opinion, is the worst. This is the phase where you become super picky. You find a cute boy whose sweet and kind but he “liked” a girl’s picture in 2007 so it just won't work. Or maybe you meet a boy who has got a great head on his shoulders and loves the same TV shows you do, but he thinks Derek should have stayed with Addison instead of being with Meredith so he obviously isn't the right one. Who could think that really?? We go through this phase because this is where we realize our worth and finally have grown the confidence we needed.
Lastly, there is the phase that most of my girlfriends and I hate to admit, but even I, seem to be stuck in. This is what I unaffectionately refer to as ”The Mr. Right now,” phase. It's when the cute boy hits on you, you blush, giggle, and instead of taking one small moment to consider options, or even asking what his major or future aspirations are, you simply ask for his number, another cup and walk away blissfully.
Now you inevitably journey down the path of finding the boys that are all too wrong for you. These boys dropped out of college to pursue video game careers, seriously who goes pro in 2K? The worst boys you find have convinced themselves that the only reason to go to college is for the free booze, sorority girls and Old Row lifestyle.
You start spending time obsessing over the unopened Snapchats, or the read and not replied texts, as opposed to caring about whether he has a future or any kind of a career plan with a 401k in it, as opposed to a job that has “would you like fries with that?” in the daily routine. Sometimes though, I think to myself, maybe this isn't a bad phase to go through in college after all.
In all honesty, college is the place to try things, spread your wings, and make mistakes, right? So aren’t we just trying out the guys we know would never work in real life? A test drive of the car you know would be fun and fast but has horrible gas mileage and bald tires. Like that skydiving trip you took during spring break, its a fun free fall but when your feet touch the ground you have to get back to reality.
What’s wrong with trying out the hot frat boy, who is social chair, or maybe treasurer, something like that, just to see how he fits?
Maybe finding Mr. Right now, is what helps us realize what traits we need in Mr. Right For Life. I say, go through your phases!! Every phase you go through gets you one phase closer to your fairy tale, your prince charming and eventually your very own happily ever after.
