Relationships are independent scenarios that each require a unique kind of TLC to function properly. Thus, the key that works for my relationships isn’t necessarily the same key that works for your relationships, or his relationships, and so on. If love is supposed to be selfless, why do we love selfishly?
I read a book about the 5 Languages of Love in high school, and it revolutionized the way I approached my relationships; be it with friends, families, or boyfriends.
You see, much like we’re all unique individuals, we all give and receive love differently. I may choose to show affection through gifts, and my partner may prefer to receive love in terms of quality time. So long as you’re loving others with YOUR preferred method of love, not theirs, you’ll never reach an equilibrium. If your boyfriend loves gifts, but you prefer to show him affection with acts of service, you aren’t loving him as efficiently as you could be, and vice versa.
The languages are as follows: Physical affection, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts.
You first need to determine your love language, which is typically done by taking a little quiz which can be accessed here: QUIZ
It will rank the 5 languages in order, from your most preferred to your least preferred.
Once you have your standings, so to speak, you’ll start to realize just how accurately they describe you; your wants, your needs, your communication methods. As you start to unravel their meaning to you, you’ll begin to interpret them to those around you and your friends and family will better understand how you accept love. Typically, results are most effective when you combine your top three methods.
Once they, too, can determine their preferred languages, you can begin to adjust accordingly. Soon, your boyfriend will start to make more time for you or bring you flowers more often, etc. and you’ll be more physically affectionate. You’ll make time for lunch with your mom once a week and she’ll start being more vocal with her feelings towards you.
It will revolutionize how you love people, and in turn strengthen your relationships.
Give it a shot, it certainly can’t hurt and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
