As we watch our senior friends post cap and gown pictures, saying goodbye to the people that have paved our way for the past three years, we juniors cannot help but be a little selfish for a moment. We start thinking of ourselves, our futures … and that is when the freak-out begins.
This end-of-junior-year moment seemed different in high school, when the class before us finally graduated and we took our “rightful” place at the top of the social totem pole, it was a moment of joy, not of hesitation. Now on that same cusp, our year to rule the school, something holds us back. Sure, senior year is supposed to be the best year: the year of partying, celebration and graduating onto bigger and better things. And that excitement is still there, but somehow it feels tainted and scary.
Junior year is like riding a big-kid bike with training wheels. As our feet push our pedals, finding internships and creating networks, we feel accomplished and ready. But as soon as this interim time between junior and senior year hits, loosening our training wheels, the adverse effects of accidentally loosing our balance for a moment suddenly shake our confidence. We know that the training wheels are still behind us, waiting to catch us when we fall. But we also know that by this time next year, they will have completely disappeared and we will be forced to continue to balance without them.
The waiting and surmising about our “this time next year” is the worst part. “This time next year I will need to have a job,” “This time next year I will need to be adulting.” As our junior year ends, we are more than ever focused on the future because we know that in one summer and two semesters from now, we will be in one of two positions: employed or unemployed.
And even if we juniors are not yet worrying about employment, we sure as hell are worried about leaving our college cocoon. The simplicity of having our food, bed, favorite people and daily responsibilities (such as classes and clubs) all within a few mile radius is comfortable. And (for the most part) all of our bills come from the same place: the university. The ability to function completely within a controlled environment is normal for us. We have always been able to console our doubts about entering the real world with the thought that it will not happen for a few years, but now that we are staring the beginning of our last year in the face, our doubts are intensified.
If you are a junior going through a freak-out: do not worry, you are not alone. But just keep in mind that we still have one more year before the world swallows us whole. Yay. So before we have a full-on panic attack, let us test our training wheels, trust our instincts and enjoy our senior year.
