It was in November when I first felt the sudden sense of new found love, and it was a quite horrendous day if I must say. I was a sophomore in high school and all I wanted to do was be in the room preparing with my eldest sister as she delivered my first niece. The excitement I felt had no need for words because all I wanted was to hold the little person who would indeed steal my heart.
When I first held my first niece, my heart swelled with joy as she looked at me like she was in a daze and she was itty bitty and cuddly. I loved her then and wanted to feel that way for the majority of my life, but then I realized babies were not always fun. They cry, poop, eat, pee, and scream their little heads off all before the break of dawn. Baylee may have been my first love of being an aunt, but sometimes I wondered if she could ever grow up to the age where she could be independent, maybe the age of 5?
My little niece has taught me that love is unconditional, but when you are mad then bribe with food for love. She has shown me the new found joy of sitting down and cuddling while watching Sophia the First on Saturday mornings, but I have shown her the love of Disney as the classics play the day away. Nieces show you that playing hair is a mess of teased hair and that puzzles are meant for the entire ground/table so no one can walk. Being an aunt has taught her to love fully and that kindness is what makes a person.
Being an aunt to a sassy four year old has given me a blessing because she is a bundle of joy to the others round her. She comes to people and smiles and tells them what she feels without any doubt. Little boys go around chasing her, though she has the nerve to push them down because she does not need one, yet. Baylee shows people what carefree looks like while she runs around in a princess costume with her baby in her hands. My niece has brought so much laughter and joy in the past four years that it amazes me that she gets older.
Four years ago, I held the first of three in my arms as she looked at me like she was drunk off something. I looked at her little face and realized then that my love for a little girl will make me love someone so much that my heart hurts. I have seen her grow up and shown her so much and it makes my heart incredibly happy. One nephew and two nieces later has made my heart swell four times too large and it hurts to think someone could ever try to take more of my heart. But to my family, I still do not want children.
