Foreword
Looking back at my time at Temple University, I find memories of joy and companionship. But behind the "great" of every story, there lie moments of somewhat-insurmountable struggles. For myself, It was my history of substance abuse, self-sabotaging behavior, and ever-so-daunting relapse.
Working with Temple University's Office of Undergraduate Admissions at an Owl Ambassador
My Little Demon
January 29th, 2019. 12:00am. My 21st birthday. A couple gin and tonics, vodka redbulls, and Lionshead pilsners. A perfect setup for my introduction to "adulthood". I thought I did it. Conquered the world and all that encompasses it. But deep down I knew the truth: Nothing about me had changed. Simply put, aging itself does not equate to growth in character. One must overcome their most terrifying demons within. It just so happened that mine was a little red monster named, Mr. Alcohol-Abuse. He taught me about binge drinking, purging, day drinking, and the most important lesson of all; REPETITION.
The world became must bleaker after I met Mr. AA (I understand the irony of the nickname). Liquor became the answer to every hinderance in my day and the perfect prescription to numb the "bitterness of reality". I built a dependence (and soon, an ever-apparent addiction) to alcohol.
Introduction to the Phi Sigma Pi Fraternity at Temple University
The Road to Recovery and Self-Exploration
I remember one night. I was bent over the toilet, convinced that I would feel better if I expelled all the alcohol I consumed minutes prior. I got a text from my older sister. It was a loving reminder to "take it easy" and that she was "proud of everything I was doing".
Wow. How about that.
It was soon after I wiped the tears from my eyes and the lingering feeling of shame, that I dedicated myself to the path of recovery (and subsequently, a far brighter future).
I began to look at myself a little bit deeper. What would trigger the need to drink? Are there some behaviors that I have developed from past trauma? Did I have a traumatic past? Am I copping or compartmentalizing things?
I would be understating it by saying that this part was overwhelming. It was, and still continues to be, a major struggle in my life. I am still exploring the questions above day-to-day and continuously growing from self-reflection.
End of The Year Banquet with the 2018-19 White Hall Resident Assistant Staff
Every Journey Begins with a Single Step
Looking at the bigger picture of things can be daunting. I am still have doubts in my ability to live a sober lifestyle, but one does not scale a mountain in one stride. It takes small, calculated steps. When this is achieved, even the largest mountainsides in the world can be overcome. I am happy to say that I am surrounded by a community that showers me in support and love. If you were paying attention to the pictures, they showcase some of the people that I rely on and those that lift me up from the deepest, darkest moments in my travels. I am happy to share my story and hope to inspire others along the way.
Love, Lubin
Christmas Morning with my Father, Mother, and Older Sister
*For a list of resources that Temple University offers, click here*
