Twitter made it's debut about a year or two before my freshman year of high school and was all the rage by my junior year. Getting retweets, favorites and DM’s were all things I could brag about to my friends. My funny side came out in 140 characters, whether it was about dogs or politics. Oh, and there was Instagram. Don’t even get me started about that one. How could you stand to make you look skinny and attractive so you could get the most likes? What time should you post it? It was only about what you looked like and how you could portray that look to the world.
The issue with me was Twitter and Instagram became my secret life affirmation.
I never got upset if something didn’t get likes or favorites, but I was embarrassed the tweet or picture was posted and generally deleted the them in hopes no one saw it. It was an obsession. All the time, in class, after practice, before dinner, after dinner, always checking to see if there was a notification. But it wasn't just me. All my friends and peers also got sucked into this world where we could be whatever we wanted. We could be funny and look like we were 20, even though we were neither in real life. It was never who we truly were, only the portrayal of our life we were showing people. The worst part about it was people actually bought it.
Going into my freshman year of college I lost most of my social media momentum.
I was no longer the girl that everyone knew. I had changed my hair, changed my glasses, gained a little bit of weight and was going into college a total stranger. I wasn't as relatable anymore, and was somewhat desperate for that social media platform again; being able to influence people I didn't even know, showing them a life I didn't truly lead.
So, I started comparing myself to the girls I saw on Instagram who had that popularity. To me posting ‘artsy’ pictures to attempting to have the same clothes as those girls, it all started to become a chore and made me feel insecure and not enough; that the things that were truly going on in my life weren't actually good enough to post about.
And I know I’m not the only one.
Instead of seeing girls and saying 'oh she’s pretty' we change it to 'oh I want to be like her'. I want to look like her. I want her hair or her make up and feeling incomplete or like you weren’t pretty enough if you couldn’t do it.
But the issue is, comparing myself to them is the last thing God wants me to do.
You see these Instagram ‘idols’ and strive to be like them instead of like the person God created you to be. And the thing is, those idols, whether they are Christians or not, soak it all up. They don’t encourage you to be someone who takes their own path, or take that risky jump. But instead enjoy you being put in the same cookie cutter pattern as them.
During high school, I had almost a thousand Twitter followers, I regret not telling those girls to be more original or to not be like me. I helped fuel the insecurities and issues that I ended up struggling with. My favorite Bible verse of all time is “He has made everything beautiful in it’s time” Ecclesiastic 3:11. Copying someone else and striving to be like anyone but Jesus is not encouraging you and won’t grow you. God made you perfect, and he’s continually changing and refining you; helping you grow and become a beautiful individual. Genuinely love yourself. Be kind to yourself, give yourself a break when you need it and a push when it’s best. Instead of worrying about getting and being the best in the publics eye, be worried about being your best in Christ.
Be confident in who you are. You are loved, beautiful and unusual, whether you’re an Instagram model or have never used make up or done your hair. Grow yourself and don't allow another to water your own plants.
