One thing that has really stood out to me this year is all of the true color revelations I have had from those around me. Friends, family, and old flames included it seems that I am starting to see people for who they truly are.
As someone who gives second, third, fourth, and fiftieth chances to everyone it has surely been a somewhat hurtful but also worthwhile lesson to learn.
On a positive note, I have met and grown close to some really outstanding people. I have found real friendships and become better friends with people I had once known as just acquaintances.
Could it be we just never thought we'd get along? Maybe we thought the other person too cool to hang out with us? Sometimes our paths don't cross until the timing is right and regardless of the thing that once held us back we have finally found our people and begin to make our urban tribes.
I have been reassured that I have friends in my life who have been there a long time and will not be leaving me anytime soon. They see me for who I truly am: a dramatic, caring, crazy, anxious, funny friend who will always have their back. And while some days I am extra AF or overexcited they still stand by me no matter the situation.
On a less positive note, I have seen people who walk and talk like a friend completely flip on the script on me. From what I have gathered it seems that they can't share their spotlight but have no problem stealing it from others.
We've talked about the givers and the takers before. If you're a giver you don't notice a taker until they take all you can offer and suddenly abandon you.Fun fact about the takers, they can't make for themselves and that's why they take from you. When they can't make a reputation for themselves they use yours to find validation. Once they have it they usually trash you to lift themselves higher.
Know anyone who is a social climber?
A social climber is someone who hops around with different people trying to claw their way to the top. They push and step on anyone to make it to the "top" which usually ends up being the shortest lived and loneliest home.
And if you're secure in yourself then it doesn't matter how many takers come at you, you will ultimately be okay.
The great Maya Angelou once wrote "when people show you who they are, believe them the first time" and I couldn't agree with her more.
I am not saying cut people out of your life left and right. I think it is important to be aware of who you are dealing with. That goes for people you perceive as good and people you perceive as bad. As someone who is a decent judge of character I still get fooled more often than I would like to.
I think to avoid getting fooled you can't just snag everyone and call them a best friend. You need to take time to get to know them; at their best and their worst. You have to go beyond first impressions, others' perceptions and social reputations. Don't hold someone's past against them because there are people who try to do better. Some of them don't.
Have an opinion of your own, you just might see a shade of someone no one else has seen before. Get an idea of what you're getting into before you put your full self into it.
I hope you always find the brighter shades but hey people have dark sides too and we can't ignore them.