Music is a universal expression of everything from happiness, to love, to sorrow, even to shared experiences. I'm sure I'm speaking on behalf of many of you when I say this: I listen to music constantly to help myself feel better or when I feel lonely when I'm in a particular situation.
Personally, when I'm in a particular situation and I can't think of songs that I already know that pertain to the situation, I search "songs about *insert situation here*". For example, when someone goes to search "songs about sexual assault", a link to Lady Gaga's "Til It Happens to You" music video comes up.
I've never been much of a fan of Lady Gaga; I'm more of a country music and rock music person myself, but the first time I heard her song, I cried. With lyrics like "You tell me hold your head up, hold your head up and be strong / 'Cause when you fall you gotta get up, you gotta get up and move on", and "'Til it happens to you, you don't know how I feel, how I feel", this song spoke the words I couldn't say.
I've been strong and moved on with everything I've been through. People tell me they can imagine how I must be feeling but they can't.
Sexual assault isn't something I can move on from. It's not simple. It strips away at different parts of you. I lost my self-confidence, my self-esteem, my positivity, and my love for my body.
I became cut off from my friends and family. I couldn't trust anyone, not even myself. I became afraid of things like someone hugging me. I tried to seclude myself and to this day, I prefer being alone to being in the middle of a group. My personality, not to mention my life, changed after my sexual assault. I've since met many other people who have been sexually violated in some way and most of them share that sentiment.
Having songs like "'Til It Happens to You" makes me feel as though I have something to fall back on when I felt like I was the only one in the world to experience something like this, but not because Lady Gaga, while writing this song, drew from her own experience of being sexually assaulted.
When she performed it at the 2016 Oscars on February 28th, she shared her experiences with her family, friends, fans and viewers of the Oscars. She revealed that the morning after the show she received a call from her grandmother and her aunt because she hadn't been able to get passed the fear and shame she felt to inform them she was a survivor of sexual assault.
I have shared my story with numerous people, from family and friends, to total strangers, because I finally feel empowered to do so. I really hope that by sharing my story and Lady Gaga sharing hers that more people come forward about their sexual violence and continue the, what I like to call, circle of empowerment.
I want to see women and men alike come forward and share their stories because this is an issue that can not remain in the shadows. This is something others need to know happens and that it's okay to be a survivor because whatever your experience was, it was not your fault.
