Body positivity has become more relevant and important than ever as our society continues to falsely and vainly determine an individual’s worth based on…their weight. We see this everywhere; our movies and TV shows, our commercials, our magazines, everywhere.

Consequently, we see a multitude of responses in how body positivity goes a long way in helping victims of body shaming. Yet, the mistake nearly everyone makes is thinking that men are never the targets of body shaming and they believe so because women are so often at the center of this subject, through no fault of their own.

But believing that men are never judged or even shunned for their weight is a mistake.

So, let’s broaden the discussion since you’d be hard pressed to find another article dealing with this topic.

Let’s talk about body image in our society. For women, having an hourglass figure or being unrealistically skinny fits the bill. For men, skinny is (forgive me) “nerdy." No, all men need to be at least 6’ foot tall, muscular, and have a six-pack of abs. These images are burned into our brains and when we see men or women who don’t fit these descriptors, our brain notices and makes judgments, whether we realize it or not.

It’s because of these images that I (or anyone else who don’t meet society’s requirements) don’t feel comfortable not wearing a shirt publicly or don’t have the self-confidence to post pictures of themselves.

As a male who often struggles with his body, I’m no stranger to people treating me differently because of my weight. I work as a Swim Instructor but I am in fact not a swimmer, at least in the athletic or competitive sense. Needless to say, I am not as athletically fit like my co-workers who are, and it's because of this difference in body image that I feel outcast. Even though I’ve known and worked with these people for 2-3 years now, some still aren’t willing to entertain the idea of having a conversation with me. Is there a possibility that I’m looking way too far into this? Yes, absolutely, but this is, in essence, my point.

To most, being other than what society claims is “normal” is reason enough to be at the center of ridicule. My elementary, middle and high school years were fraught with weird looks and colorful nicknames. Because of this, my self-esteem plummeted and my self-consciousness skyrocketed.

Now, I’m not angry or resentful towards the people who bullied me over my weight, because the truth of the matter is, that’s what they were either told or were exposed to in their formative years. Yet it still baffles me when fully grown adults are still stuck in this same mindset. For some, it comes down to for why someone is overweight. Well, it’s not their business but let’s discuss anyway. It could be in that person’s genes, they could be struggling with an eating disorder or disease, they don’t have the means to be “thinner”, or, quite simply, they just like the way they are and their weight is not a concern. And you know what, that’s ok. It’s not your place to decide how much extra weight is too much extra weight or what the “normal” weight even is. It’s not your place to be “concerned” for someone’s health or deem someone who is overweight “unhealthy” or not. It’s not your place.

Additionally, there is little to no positive representation in the media of overweight men. In movies or TV shows, “fat” characters cannot exist without their weight being the topic of ridicule or, God forbid, a major plot point. In the recently canceled CBS sitcom, “Mike and Molly”, rumors sparked that Melissa McCarthy’s steady weight loss is what robbed the show of its seventh season. This was, in fact, proven false and the reason for the show’s cancellation was due to contracts, actor availability, and other business factors. Yet the fact that this rumor was even started just goes to show how completely hung up people can be on an actor or character’s weight. It’s nearly impossible for a film or movie to ignore a lead or supporting character’s weight or pass up the chance to make it the subject of an empty joke. There’s no way that any studio will cast a slightly overweight man to play a lead in an action movie without it being satirical. This is the problem.

Self-love and self-esteem are important and they are things I and many others struggle with on a daily basis, all because we are conditioned to believe that society’s ideas of body image are the end all, be all and that anyone who does not resemble these images is somehow less of a person. In no way am I invalidating the need for female body positivity, but we need to see more body positivity for guys, more positive overweight representation in our media, and more focus on the character of that person and not a number on the scale.