Full disclosure: I'm an incredibly indecisive person. For everything from snacks to tinder swipes to college courses. I love chocolate covered pretzels and french fries dipped in ice cream because I hate choosing between salty and sweet. I usually don't decide what to order at restaurants until the waiter has been looking at me for an uncomfortable amount of time. Sometimes I become so tired of debating with myself that I think it's easier to just use eenie meenie miney mo. Either way, I always wonder if I should've picked something else. Now I know some of these things are pretty insignificant, so in the long run, the potential regrets that could accompany a wrong decision aren't that great. However, when it comes to choosing a study abroad program or a career path, your choices matter. Serious decisions like these are usually final, so any regrets accompanying them ruin the experience. That's why it's detrimental to our happiness to fixate on what-ifs.
As we enter 2016, Facebook and Twitter are filled with "new year, new me" posts. People pledge to let go of friends and behaviors that brought them down in the past. Not only do many of these resolutions fall through, but we shouldn't need a superficial date change to tell us to move past the unhealthy things in our lives. Wishing and wanting for things that could've been is just a waste of what we have presently. People don't always realize that focusing on the coulda, woulda, shoulda is something that can happen subconsciously, but it affects our outlook on life, regardless.
I'm not suggesting that the past should be banished from your mind forever, but rather that you learn from your mistakes without constantly wondering how your life would have turned out if you had done this or that differently. So maybe you picked a class you thought you would enjoy, but it turns out the teacher is an absolute nightmare and add/drop just ended. You could withdraw from the course, but if it's a requirement that might not be an option. Constantly thinking about what you could've done differently when planning your schedule, or what teacher you should've taken the class with will only make you resent yourself and the class. Acknowledge the fact that you're stuck in the class and focus on making the most of it. That way, when you finish the semester, you can be proud that you worked hard instead of just blowing off the class because you were bitter. Then you know for next time to look at Rate My Professor and ask your friends about teachers they've taken. Plus, you now know you're capable of doing well in a class with a difficult teacher, and in the future, you won't hesitate to take an interesting class because you're afraid of the professor.
Once when complaining to my grandmother that I once again couldn't make a decision about something I now can't even remember, I told her I was indecisive because if I made the wrong choice I would feel bad. She simply said, "then you're going to feel bad". Her advice is something I still take into consideration today. Putting off a decision because you're afraid of the consequences won't do you any good, and worrying about the decision once it's made will not change the outcome. Don't be afraid to pass on a Thursday night out even though you have FOMO and pressure from friends if you know you have a big test Friday morning. There will be hundreds of other opportunities to go out. If you're in an unhealthy relationship, romantic or platonic, don't hold off from ending it because that person might be having family issues or is just going through a hard time. You can't let guilt keep you from doing what is best for you. Looking back, you shouldn't regret your decision, or feel bad about it because you need to take care of yourself first.
I know this is somewhat filled with clichés and vague advice, but if you take away one thing it should be that holding onto regrets has no actual effect on your situation in life. Once a decision is final, there is nothing you can do about it, so regretting your choices only serves to wreak havoc on your peace of mind. Instead, realize it's out of your control, there's no use in worrying about it, and focus on the future. The one thing I regret is that once when I was at H&M I saw a blue t-shirt that said GREAT across the front on a mannequin, and since I'm great, I had to have it, but I couldn't find it anywhere in the store. I'm still bitter that I didn't ask for it off the mannequin, but it's the only regret I have.
