As I am sitting on my bed reading one of my favorite books by Mark Manson, I stumble upon one of the chapters where he discusses how important it is for all of us to learn how to say no. We all are forced to follow the mantra that we should say yes to every opportunity thrown our way, or say yes to everyone in order to make the most of our lives, and that is true to SOME extent.
However, if we are saying yes and accepting everything that is put in front of our faces, then that essentially means we have no more values because we are not standing up for anything. And if you are drained of all your values and beliefs, then you are not really living your best life. This is simply because you lack a sense of purpose due to not being able to reject certain things or situations that come your way.
Furthermore, most of us tend to avoid rejection because it makes us feel better about ourselves to know that we are not failing at anything in particular, but as the wise Mark Manson suggests, rejection is a necessary part of our lives and for our overall identities as human beings. Believe it or not, rejection allows us to create a better life for ourselves. However, if you continually find yourself avoiding rejection, it may make you feel good for the time being, but it affects you more so in the long run, so be careful.
I think most people feel guilty for being selfish sometimes, but in order to fully enjoy and appreciate something, or even someone, you have to dedicate time and energy to it. Whether that be a career, hobby, or relationship, you have to commit to that single thing in order to become successful and happy, so that involves rejecting all the other possible options along the way. And if that makes you selfish and people don't seem to understand that, then those aren't the right people for you and you don't need them in your life anyway.
Essentially, the point I am trying to reach is that we as individuals in this one life have to genuinely care about something or someone in order to truly value it. So, if you really value something or someone, then you have to reject everything else that does not fall into that category in order to live your best and fulfilled life.
A crucial value that I believe most people have in common with one another is honesty. Every person, including you, wishes that people were more honest and would not lie, right? Even though this may be the case, most people have difficulties saying and hearing the word "no" because the fear of rejecting or being rejected takes over. So, saying "no" can actually be extremely beneficial for our overall emotional well-being and allow us to create better relationships with others.
All in all, the next time you think you are being selfish for telling someone "no," or saying no to an opportunity of some-sort, just remember that you aren't because you value something much bigger than that person or that opportunity and that says a lot about your character.
