Now, I don't know about you, but there was a time in my life that I hate to call "the emo phase", even though that's exactly what it was. It was a brief period of trying to be "edgy" and "discover myself", just because I wanted to seem cool to the other kids. Seventh grade was a dark, dark time.
But during that time of my life, I was succeeding at the whole "self-discovery" thing, even though I was doing it for all of the wrong reasons. I was trying things that I wouldn't normally try, like venturing into Hot Topic by myself, and I was listening to music that had never even crossed my mind. I was trying to become my own person, and it was a strange and horrific and wonderfully disgusting period of my middle school career.
And yet...when I went through that phase, I found myself listening to music more and more. Every free moment, every free chance that I possibly had, was filled with the thick, heavy beats of some band or album or singer that "you've probably never heard of". During the rare, agonizing times that I didn't have my headphones on, I spent my time humming or tracing lyrics to new songs that I had discovered onto the notebooks that were supposed to be open in front of me.
I found something in music that I had never been able to find in myself: Freedom.
In my day to day life, I had always felt as if I had been trapped in a rusty cage, begging and pleading with my unseen captors for freedom. I just yearned for a life that I wanted to live, and when I listened to music it wasn't hard to pretend that I was free from my cage. It was my way of connecting with myself and those around me, and I can list off many people who felt the same way.
What I'm trying very hard to say, is that music will always be important. Somewhere out there in this huge world of ours, there's a kid sitting somewhere in a corner of a room, crying their eyes out with headphones glued to their ears. They're probably feeling horrible about life and don't know what else to do, but that music is what's keeping them alive. They're listening to that music as a reminder that no matter what happens in this confusing, kind-of-shitty world, something beautiful can always be found no matter how horrible you feel.
So to my kids out there who are the ones sobbing and listening to music, please remember that I'm here for you. This stranger on the internet is here to listen and talk and recommend music when you've run out of albums to listen to. It gets better. It gets so wonderfully better that sometimes you'll forget about the person you once were, and if you're staying alive for anything, stay alive for the music.
Rock on.
