We all know that life and what you make of it is but a set of your own perceptions.
“To forget himself in sleep was impossible now, at least until nighttime, so he must forget himself in the dream of daily life” – Anna Karenina
There is no such thing as reality—there is only your mind’s eye and how you decide to view the world. So there’s something I am deciding to experiment with. It is living in my own fantasy. Forgetting myself in a dream of daily life. It’s all about a practice of mind control which allows me to physically change the situation by doing so mentally.
When I was in a pre-professional dance training program, I was dancing and working my body nearly ten hours every day. Success as a dancer and acceptance into the main company became my sol purpose of living. I think we underestimate how much the drive to be special pushes us as humans. To me, I felt like dance was such a pure form of superiority and wonderment. It meant I serve a greater purpose: I create art and beauty in a way that provides people with inspiration and elation. And I still stand by that- dance is a possibility to experience revelation. The problem was that I was approaching dance in this ultimate need to be physical and achieve rather than to feed inspiration to the world.
And so I found myself pushing and pushing; every day was an opportunity to achieve more in my range as a dancer. Until I reached a tipping point. I had injured my neck from all of the stress and inflammation. I was sent to rest for 10 days, which I realize now seems very minor and appropriate. But at the time 10 days felt like dreams crushed, achievements voided, and mind sent on an existential crisis. I felt empty and purposeless. Little did I know this would be my new beginning. A beginning of fantasy and freedom.
In the first few days of rest, I discovered a crisis. My entire purpose in life was dance, so what kind of meaning did waking up every day have now that I wasn’t dancing. I found myself discouraged and empty from the lack of dance in my life. But eventually, I learned to embrace the sensation of fantasy. I would sit in the studio and watch all of the other dancers moving and learning, and begin dreaming that I was amongst them. I would read books and escape into the theories as they developed my eye as an artist. I would draw and paint, and imagine the brushstrokes were my feet painting the dance floor. Everything I did contributed to me as a dancer, even though I wasn’t dancing. Losing myself in fantasy and in the dream of daily life meant continuing my growth as an artist and a dancer.
That’s how I realized that dance and art is about inspiration and revelation, not this need for achievement. To truly create wonder, you hone your mind’s eye and your approach- not your flexibility and strength.
It was then that I learned a valuable lesson. Life is all about your perspective-your mind’s eye. You can choose to make every single act of yours fulfilling and full purely by embracing a fantasy within it. From the mundane and necessary to the utmostly inspiring, everything can be exciting if you create it that way. It means that as I clean my kitchen, I fantasize I am a dancer and the broom is my third leg- moving brilliantly across the stage. It means as I walk home, I fantasize the whole world is watching me walk on an expressive runway. It means as I live my daily life without dance, I dream and know that what I’m doing still contributes to and makes me a dancer: whether in my physicality or my fantasy. And just like that I am fulfilled; I lose myself in a dream of daily life.