Moving to a new country is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. As a six-year-old I had to adjust to a new landscape, new climate, new people, a new language, new customs, a new culture, I could go on and on. One of the things people do not expect as immigrants, however, is how much the little things, the everyday things, everything from A to Z, affect one's life, one's assimilation, one's sense of self. Most of the time, these things go unnoticed, but eventually, as one grows up, matures, gets more experienced in the ways of this new culture, it becomes clear how much they really add up and are in some ways more significant than the "big" changes.
Accent
“Gerrrel”
“No, papi, g-i-r-l”
“Grill”
“Nevermind.”
“Wow, you don’t even have an accent!”
Birthday Parties
We all crowd around the birthday girl as she begins to open present after present. I feel a sinkhole in the pit of my stomach. What about people in the crowd who do not get presents for their birthdays? What about those who could only afford to get her something small? I will never do this if I ever have a birthday party.
Clothes
I try to make myself invisible as I walk down the hallways with (not intentionally) faded jeans and a shirt with the logo of a place I’ve never been. Bellbottom jeans will come back into fashion at some point, right?
Dancing
My first middle school dance.
This is dancing? What am I supposed to do? Is this fun?
I feel nothing in my bones and my feet do not budge.
Estrella
Australia? No!
Oh, that means star in Spanish, right? Yes, genius, anyone who has ever seen Dora knows this.
Do you have any nicknames? You wish.
Can I call you star? Fine.
Food
Pizza. Again. What is it with Americans and pizza at parties?
Plates of carrots and peppers surrounding an unidentifiable “dip.” Who eats raw peppers as a snack? A party is no place for vegetables.
Where are the bocaditos?
Burgers and hotdogs? This is the famous barbeque? What is a hot dog made of? Are you putting ketchup on your hot dog or a hot dog on your ketchup?
Grammar
If I had a dollar for every time a teacher wrote awk on one of my papers I would be able to pay for tuition.
The sea of my words is tumultuous, punctuated by too many commas; I still do not know how to use semicolons.
Hair
I stare at my bushy, curly hair in the mirror. It never does what I want.
“Mami, everyone at school has straight hair!”
“Everyone wants what they can’t have. I’m sure the kids at school wish they had your hair.”
Intelligence
“How do you have a better grade than me in English?”
Jokes
They are not funny if you have to explain them. I always need them explained.
Knowledge
Knowledge is power, they say. I have a feeling there is more to power than just knowledge. Some powerful people are not very wise at all. What do they have that I do not?
Love
Will I ever find it? Will I have to marry someone Latino? Do I have to change my last name?
Mami
“Ayy mami,” says someone on the street.
Will I ever be able to call my mother mami again?
No
Society is constantly screaming it.
I can never say no when someone asks something of me.
Opportunity
“Coming here was the ultimate opportunity.”
Is freedom an opportunity or is it a fundamental right?
Am I really free?
Prejudice
I learn this word in a special group called “Challenge.” This is the only time I am invited. The concept is not taught anywhere else.
Questionnaire
□ Hispanic □ non-Hispanic
Are there only two types of people in the world?
□White □African-American
Where do I fit? Nowhere. Why “white” but not “black”?
Where are you from? □Mexico is the only choice.
Rodriguez
"Are you related to Alex Rodriguez?"
And yet:
Rodriquez
Rodriques
Rodrigues
Appears on all my forms
“I bet if there was a famous person named Estrella they would be able to pronounce it.”
I guess I’ll just have to become famous.
Social Events
Am I Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman?" Because I don't know any of the rules.
Translator
I should have an official certificate for my unofficial title.
Understanding
A skill crucial for self-preservation.
Also invaluable for helping others.
Virtues
Not compatible.
Wages
Minimum.
Xenophobia
Real.
Yell
I want to.
Zero
Allowance to mess up.
