Yes, the latest installment of The Houseboy Chronicles is back. An inside look at what sorority life is like from a male perspective. Here at the University of Arkansas, there is a long-running Greek tradition every Friday we call CFF or "Chicken Finger Friday." CFF is a huge deal; there is always an underlying competition between the sororities on campus for who has the best CFF.
For 99 percent of the college population, this is great because the girls can bring guests for a free lunch of fried chicken strips, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, biscuits or any other carb loaded food you can think of. For the other one percent of the college population (houseboys), this is the worst day of the week.
You may ask, Why would chicken finger Friday be the worst day of the week for houseboys? Well, because when the girls can bring whomever they want, approximately 500 billion people show up. The more people show up, the more food the chef has to prepare for, the more food, the more dishes have to be washed.
Just to give you insight on how bad working CFF actually is, here is a real life example of something that happened to me last CFF.
Me: *brings out new pan of chicken to the buffet line*
Frat star in line: “Hey, thanks superstar!” *winks and pats me on the shoulder*
Me: *walks back to the kitchen with a smile on my face, but not a smiling heart*
To whoever that frat star was: I really am glad you are so much cooler than me. I feel really blessed that you acknowledged me and appreciate my hard work. I really don’t know if I could do it without your condescending support. P.S. I’m 20 years old not seven.
Now, don’t get me wrong CFF itself is incredible The houseboy’s always get to take a box or 12 home so I really can’t be complaining about anything. Free food, a free on-campus parking spot, and a paycheck really is the life and I am blessed that I get to live it.
The amount of times I have walked out of the kitchen holding a scalding hot, 300-pound pan of mashed potatoes while making my way through a line of hungry girls is uncanny, and the words “excuse me” and “sorry” have become second nature to me
So, thank you CFF you are so good but make me want to cry all at the same time. Your carb-loaded goodness makes the endless amount of dishes, trash, and condescending frat lords worth it. Every week I look forward to CFF and dread it all at the same time.
To everybody that partakes in CFF: You can help the houseboys who are working it by being polite and throwing away your trash. You can also stop by the kitchen every once in a while and say something nice; I promise we will appreciate it. We are more than just your house slaves; so don’t be afraid to talk to us now and again. We love you all and our jobs, because you make it fun and worthwhile. See y'all next Friday!
