If you haven’t been living under a rock for the past couple of weeks you are probably aware of the existence of slither.io. If not, allow me to enlighten you on this game that has taken over my life. So basically you are a snake, eating little balls of light to get bigger. Also, you aren’t allowed to touch other snakes! The difference between this game and other fun little iPhone games is that you are competing against up to 500 people at any given time to become the biggest snake and to make it onto the coveted top ten list. I sadly have only made it to #12.

I’m not sure if I necessarily like this game. It’s a reminder of how easily life can be ruined. Imagine you are working hard for like 20 minutes slithering around this circular world tiled with hexagons. You are minding your own business, collecting colorful lights. Suddenly you accidentally run into another snake, or you make the same mistake as me and try to find out what is at the end of the world. Boom. You’re done. You are given a glimpse of your snake body disintegrating into small circular lights so the other snake that has caused your doom can literally EAT YOU. You are then taken to that daunting homescreen where you will likely restart your journey as a wee little snake.

This game also serves as a reminder that there are terrible people in this world. I get more offended when somebody cuts off my snake than when somebody cuts me off in traffic. Seriously! When you are a small snake, large snakes will literally form a circle around you so that you have no escape and they can feed on your corpse. People in this game are extremely hostile. Like what is up with the speeding? I am minding my own business and you speed directly in front of me. What did I do to you, I’m just trying to live! Imagine if humans KILLED AND ATE their enemies to gain power and grow. Never in my time as a snake have I felt the need to go out of my way to destroy someone's snake life.