I never once imagined in a hundred years that I would end up in a town with a desolate population of fewer than 2,104 residents, far from the comfort and the usually busy streets from my busy hometown Alpharetta, Georgia where the humming sound of cars can never be drowned out. At one point though, I woke up and realized that somewhere far away, there in the sunshine, are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead.
All my life I've had dreams and aspirations. Doesn’t everyone, though? Everyone goes through their life struggling constantly to fulfill those little sparks of hope called dreams. Kids, young adults and even grandmas and grandpas. Well, what happens when external conflicts stop you from reaching your goals? Would you sacrifice your self-worth and pride for those conflicting circumstances? Or would you rather rise above them and chart your path to reach where you wanted to aim for? For me, I want to do everything in my power to reach my hopes and dreams.
I have had many external things weigh me down. In fact, they didn’t just weigh me down; they almost devoured me and took my life. I have not given up, and I never will. Stubborn, you may say? Perhaps, but strong-willed is the term I would use to describe my state of mind. I have watched loved ones fall over from the weight of the externalities that engulfed their life. I even have picked them up off of their feet, dusted them off and then sent them on their way again, only to see them fall over once more. I have encountered this so many times that I have learned what not to do and how to avoid it. At a very young age, we learn immediately that when you get hurt, it is not preferred to do that same thing over and get hurt again. Just like a kid that wanders too far down a street and gets approached by a stranger, a murderer, a kidnapper even. Or maybe it’s a daughter that puts herself through pain watching every relation with her immediate family fade away while she is left in the corner collecting dust like a forgotten treasure.
My reason for leaving my safe comfortable town in Alpharetta is maybe one that I will never be able to sum up into words completely. If only people could stare into one's eyes and understand the depth and perception that they carry within them. Perhaps then those people could begin to feel half the weight of the load that not only I but also many others carry.
I knew that there was a life for me out there that was filled with happiness; a life that I could approach with confidence and one that did not boast with laughter when I fell down. Maybe I am being too generous with this statement, though. Life can be cruel indeed. It knows no forgiveness and allows no turning back time. What life does offer are options to choose from. The best part about the options is that we get to decide which one to choose.
I chose to change my surroundings, to find a peace of mind that I could never seem to achieve with the option that was given to me before with my original surrounding. Is the option going to be an ideal one? Is it going to be perfect? Is it going to be right? No, maybe not. The question one should ask themselves though is: Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? If you want to be right, this is a request from your ego. If you want to be happy then this is the heart. The only meaning anything has is the meaning we give it. Maybe we should develop a philosophy that today is the last day of the rest of my life. If this were true, how easy it would be to let things go — how easy it would be to forgive.