The Harsh Realities Of Yankee Swap
Start writing a post
Entertainment

The Harsh Realities Of Yankee Swap

Not a game, but a war.

586
The Harsh Realities Of Yankee Swap
gospelherald.com

If you've never played Yankee Swap at Christmastime, you should probably be in therapy, because your parents obviously neglected you. Also known as Nasty Christmas, Yankee Swap is a time-honored tradition. The rules are pretty simple: Everyone puts a wrapped gift into a pile. Participants then select numbers out of a hat. The number determines the order in which you play. Everyone picks a gift in succession. If you don't like your gift, you can choose to swap it with someone who has already opened a gift. The person who really wins in the end is the guy or gal who gets to pick first. Because nobody opened a gift before them, they can swap with someone at the very end of the game, giving them the maximum number of gift options to choose from.

As you can probably imagine, Yankee Swap can get pretty heated. Here are a few things you're going to want to keep in mind when participating in a swap:

1. Yankee Swap is not a game in the traditional sense, but a lesson about the cold, harsh realities of life.


2. The stupider the gift you put into the swap, the better.


3. Feelings don't matter in Yankee Swap. Anything goes. All's fair in Yankee Swap and war.


4. If you don't make at least one child cry during the game, you aren't playing correctly.


5. Expect the competition to go into overdrive when it's revealed that someone put a gift card or cash into the game.

6. If your sibling or parents get a gift taken from them, you MUST avenge that injustice by stealing the gift back when it is your turn, whether you want it or not.

As "The Godfather" taught us, NOBODY messes with family.

6. If you're picked to go first, expect everyone to treat you like a pariah until next Christmas, when someone else is chosen as number one.

It is the best number, after all.

8. If you hear someone remark "I hate this stupid gift" by the time the game is over, consider the swap a success.


9. Expect someone to put a really tiny gift, like a gumball machine toy in a ginormous box to trick everyone.

Is that a nice thing to do? No. Is it genius? Absolutely.

10. You will inevitably have to deal with an elderly relative who feels the need to shake every wrapped gift before choosing one.

If you are faced with this issue, give them two minutes to do what they need to do, then tell them to move it or lose it.

11. Before participating in any Yankee Swap, make sure to watch the episode of "The Office" in which the cast plays the game.



It'll teach you everything you need to know about this cold, hard, bloody battle of wits. As Dwight Schrute notes in the episode, "Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets Christmas."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

936296
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

113091
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

77201
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments