I think a part of me loved you at one point. Okay, maybe that is a lie. I cared about you a lot. You were ridiculously good looking and treated me like those guys treat girls in the movies. You held doors open for me, helping me out of your car when I was too short to get out myself. You walked me to my door at night, even if it was just for that one last goodnight kiss. You pretended to like things that I enjoyed, just to have an excuse to hang out with me more.

You were kind and caring. You charmed your way into my life, telling me you needed me to calm you down when you were angry, or to hug you when you were lonely. You tried giving me the world when it was never yours to give. You and I together were like two universes colliding, feeding off of each other’s energy. That was our problem: we were always two separate worlds. It took me awhile to see past all of the adorable gestures, the things you would say just to keep me from leaving or finding out who you really were. You would have done anything for me, or so it seemed.

They say you meet everyone for a reason, everything happens for a reason. You might not know what that reason is until much further down the road. I understand why I let myself be entertained by the thought of you. You were always half of what I wanted, and half of what I did not want. You were the highs and the lows; the good and the ugly. Maybe that is why I could never fully hate you. I finally know why I met you: you saved me.

You saved me from falling for other guys like you. After you came along, I was more careful with who I trusted, I was more careful with who I gave my heart to. I told myself I wanted a guy with your good aspects, with no signs of your bad ones. Without you, I would not have the guy I have today, or the wonderful ones I found before him. Thanks to you, I want a guy who can actually give me the world, even when he does not have it for himself.

You told me so many lies, masking them with a cute smile. I slowly started to see how you could easily manipulate your words to make them sound like they had a sliver of hope for being the truth. I saw how I could never fully trust you. I was so caught up in the excitement of a fairy tale romance, never realizing I was dancing with the devil.

I hated you for letting me believe I was the only one, when all along I was the second one. It was like neither of us were good enough for you, like you needed more. You were greedy. You always wanted more of everything: more attention, more time to hang out, another kiss before it was time to go home. You came into girl's lives, as though to see what they had to offer with no intentions on ever staying for too long because the thought of being with one person, the thought of staying in a place for too long was so scary for you.

When I found out the truth about who you were, what you truly are, I hated myself for letting me think someone like you exists, as though there are guys out there that could have all of your good attributes with none of your bad ones. The thing is, that is not what you taught me. You taught me that not all bad guys wear black capes and dark clothing. Sometimes, they wear stupid tank tops and a cute smile. You made me obsessed with finding another guy with all of your good traits: good looks, charming personality, ambitious towards their goals. I wanted someone I could trust, someone I could believe in. I knew there were guys like that, guys that could have all those things and never turn into what you are. I knew I never wanted to be someone’s first, but to be someone’s only.

You might have landed yourself on the list of one of the worst guys I have ever liked, but you saved me from dating so many more like you. You were always half of what I wanted and half of what I did not want. But that is why we date, to find what we want in a person, to find what we dislike. I know I most certainly do not want to ever fall for a guy like you.

I almost feel sorry for you now. I see what you have become, or rather, what you have remained to be. You have been in this endless cycle of girls never fully trusting you, because you never made them ‘the only one’ but always ‘the other one’. I feel sorry for you because you do not realize how amazing you could truly be, but I guess that is just who you are. You are stuck in this endless cycle. You will always be the guy that lost one girl after the next for never giving your heart to one person. You will always be the guy people can never fully trust. You will always be the guy who is afraid to stay for too long, afraid to give his heart to one person. You will always be that guy who questions why his relationships never work, as though you actually gave them your truest attention.

You will always be the guy who saved me. But you will always be the guy that is stuck in this cycle. And I will always be the girl that got out.