I don’t fit guy stereotypes, I will make that perfectly clear. I don’t go to the gym and get giant muscles. I don’t spend my free time playing video games or watching sports. I don’t hunt (though, I do rarely fish). I don’t sit around with a bunch of guys on the weekends drinking, partying, and talking about girls. I don’t care about cars, I can’t tell you which gaming console is better, you can ask me question after question of guy-related stuff, and it’s entirely possible I may not be able to answer. I don’t fit the common stereotypes of a college guy. I’m not considered. And frankly that is not okay.
Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t really fallen under common guy stereotypes pretty much ever, I’m used to it. I mean, do you know how many male education majors there are? Sadly, very few of us. The same applies for English majors. Sometimes, I like who I am and I thoroughly embrace it. Sometimes, not so much. Stereotypes are honestly pretty awful because they often create an image of what most people consider to be an accurate representation of a whole group of individuals, when in reality that image is very inaccurate.
Do you know what I do on my weekends? I read books, I do homework, I have nice little meals by myself, I watch Snap stories of the frat boys and sorority girls that I know enjoying their weekends in their own ways. I don’t watch football or baseball, I watch Grey’s Anatomy, Once Upon a Time, Pretty Little Liars (guilty pleasure, I’ll admit it), and a whole bunch of other shows that many guys typically don’t watch. Sometimes I own up to these things to close friends, but most of the time I just keep things to myself.
And before you say it doesn’t matter, that people don’t actually follow these stereotypes, given how toxic they can be, let me paint you a little picture. I’m working, helping my office recruit new and incoming freshmen to my university. This regularly involves talking with both the students and parents and I thoroughly enjoy doing it! I work primarily with girls and after giving a short little talk I had one dad come up to me and ask if I was on some college version of The Bachelor. I had to just stand there and awkwardly laugh. Later, I was sitting by myself and had a dad come up to me and start asking me about the football program here. He asked me that because I am a guy and I should be expected to know all about sports and follow the sports teams at my school.
Anyone who knows me knows that the girls I work with are pretty much family to me and the only football games I have gone to, I went to for the sole purpose of watching the marching band. Stereotypes, though, they dictate otherwise.
People overlook me because I don’t fall into the stereotypes, I’m used to it. Why choose me as a friend when you could have someone to play Frisbee, football, baseball with? Why choose me as a friend when you could have someone to go to the gym with? Why choose me as a friend when you could have someone to regularly play video games with?
Why choose me as a friend when there are people who fit into the “guy stereotypes” that would be a better fit for you as a friend?
I’m overlooked. I’m not considered. Toxic stereotypes have dictated how I’m expected to act, look, and do pretty much anything for quite a while now. And I will be the first to admit that they have affected my self-image, my self-esteem, and my self-worth.
I’m not sorry that I don’t fit a stereotype. I’m used to being overlooked.